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Article by Kendra Beltran

We've all been with a fuck boy or two in our lives. There is no shame in that, but why? Why do we put up with the tomfoolery of their ways for longer than necessary? Um, dick. Dick. That's about it. When a guy's dick game is Buzz Lightyear, to infinity and beyond - that's when you start looking the other way and ignoring all the negatives. Those negatives being just about everything about him but his bomb ass dick game. So let's be real for a second and all admit the following less than perfect attributes would've had us kicking an average dick to the curb, but somehow get a pass when he's packing heat.

The Late Debate

You say you are going to meet up at the bar for drinks after work at 7 pm. He comes rolling in over an hour later with no sign of an apology. That has happened the past few times but you always blame traffic and not him. Even though fuck bae lives three blocks from said bar and foot traffic is never that extreme unless there is a marathon blocking the streets and we all know ain’t nobody running after dark. You constantly allow him to forget time exists when you have plans because at least when it comes to the bedroom, he's always on time.

The What, What?

There is nothing worse than talking to someone about your day for five or some minutes and then them saying, "What? Didn't hear you." Like, really? Your ears are not but a foot away from my mouth and you couldn't hear me in a quiet AF apartment? So you repeat yourself and he has the audacity to ask you to repeat yourself again. What he never seems to miss is when you mention any form of sex. At least his priorities are on track? You have to ask yourself though, is being constantly ignored worth the greatest fuck of your life?

The Friend Ban

Fact is that your friends are not going to 100% love every man you bring around. That is just math or whatever. So you can't put all the weight of a good guy on them, but there are some instances when your friends preach the absolute truth about a piece of trash and you listen as well as a toddler strapped with a marker next to a white wall.

The Busy Bee

In a day and age where everyone is attached to their phone, it is unbelievable it takes anyone more than a second to text you back. Okay, some people are just busy but days? When it takes days to get a response that is just someone telling you that you are not worth a damn to them. He's done this to you countless times but when he texts, "U Up?" Your fingers move so fast, they almost start a fire. It is like you are telling him it is no big deal to leave you on read when you do this but you figure the reward of a fantastic fuck is worth the wait.

The Gas Man

Everyone drops a deuce, let's one loose, and occasionally (always) digs for gold. It's human nature, but most of us have the decency to do it on our own time. You've practically lived in a haze of gas with this guy because he never farts when he's giving it to you. He only does it every other place on earth like the grocery store, your favorite club, and your grandma's funeral. Maybe your Papa's dick game was strong too and your Gammie wouldn't have minded...at least we can only hope.

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