5 Steps to Breakup Like a Legit Grownup
Article written by Kendra Beltran
Like many a pop songs have proclaimed, breaking up ain’t easy. But it’s often necessary when two people cannot see eye to eye when it comes to love, sex, and their future together. And can can all be real right now and admit that we’ve all handled a breakup (or two) badly in the past. Broken their car windows, spilled all the tea online, sold their shit, set fire Angela-Bassett-in-Waiting-to-Exhale style. Yup, we’ve all been there and done that, that, and then some. But that’s child's play. A bad look when you are a grown-ass human being. So we’re here to shine a light on breaking up like a grownup. It may be hard to swallow at first but don’t you dare spit out this important advice.
1. Do It In Person
Whether it’s been a day, a week, a month, or a year you should never break things off via a text, call or email. You shared some sort of connection. Enough that you decided to start kicking it on a more serious level than just hooking up. So have the decency to tell them to their face why it is over and be done with it. Yeah, they might cause a scene or ask you WHY, WHY, WHY in front of a ton of strangers, but that’s just life. You can’t always avoid reality from behind your phone. When it comes to matters of the heart, be there in person - whether it’s good or bad.
2. Don’t Ghost
This one does go hand in hand with doing it in person, but it is also a reminder to not leave someone wondering where the hell you went. I mean, it’s totally normal (but still sort of rude) to do so when you’re just in the early stages of dating and not committed but once you’re in an actual relationship, you take the idea of ghosting off the damn table.
3. Use Civil Language
Be careful with the type of words you use when breaking up with someone, especially if the breakup doesn’t spawn from a place of negativity. Say they didn’t cheat or lie, you just didn’t feel them like you once did - then there is no reason to negatively berate them during a breakup. Just keep it civil and take that positive energy to your next relationship. Plus, if you go on and tear down a good guy who just wasn’t a good fit for you, it may fuck him up in the head and he’ll then carry that shit with him. Do you want that on your conscious? We thought so.
4. Don’t Spread Hate Online
Constantly posting nasty comments on his Insta’, making lengthy posts about how wrong he was and how right you were; it’s all a bad look...for you. All that drama online makes you look not only like a vengeful ex, but a 14-year-old with too much time on their hands. Gurl, you broke up now it’s time to move the hell on. Instead of posting about the past, focus on the present.
5. Move Out
So recently this couple I knew decided to call it quits. One of them owns the home and allowed their partner to stick around until they found something new. NO. Not going to work. Once you two decide that you are no longer going to be together, find other arrangements. Whether it’s a friend’s couch or a hotel room, anywhere is better than your now-ex. I suggested this and was met with crazy eyes. Fast forward to about a month later and things have gotten so awkward for this couple their loved ones don’t even wanna fuck around and come over anymore.