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Article written by Maya Vukovska

For some people, happiness means not just having sex, but having the most of sex they can get. That’s right, it’s not about fulfilling your physical urges, it’s about competition. Because it’s not enough to just get laid, it’s important that you get laid more often and more impressively than your friends, your boss, Steven Seagal, and even the guy selling you bagels at the corner shop. With gay men, the pressure of having as much sex as one can manage is even bigger. And sometimes they’d do stupid and completely unnecessary things in order to excel in bed. Sometimes, the ends just don't justify the means. Here are the things that are simply not worth doing just for a little bit of rumpy-pumpy.

1. Going bareback with strangers

We’re not going to sit here and lecture you on the dangers of unprotected sex, no, Sir! Of course you know that the best way to avoid getting some nasty STI is to use a condom, and not only with first-time partners, but also with your regular ones, because, hey, you can’t trust anyone these days, can you? But! The fact is that often one is ashamed, or confused, or even incapacitated to take a sensible decision. The partner’s insisting on either doing it without a rubber, or you’re “good-for-nothing” can be a huge provocation that can make you forget about safety. On the other hand, club drugs like crystal meth or GHB facilitate high-risk sexual encounters. And don’t you dare play the PrEP card here! For one, the drug is still controversial on the gay scene. And even if it proves to be a game-changer in the long run, you still need to keep in mind that it doesn’t protect you against other STIs.

Doing sex stuff you’re not comfortable with

It’s OK to say “No”, you know. It won’t make you less appealing or less sex positive. Sex should be a two-way mirror in order for both parts to enjoy it to the fullest. Even if you are willing to experiment with sexual practices you have second thoughts about, at least make your partner agree in advance on having a safe word or a signal that will show this play has gone too far. We’ve seen enough horror and CSI movies showing people getting badly injured and even killed after having engaged in messed up BDSM practices. Play-rape and play-kidnapping, for example, are among the most sadistic ones that a person should be really, really cautious about. Keep away from people who offer incredible sex online in return for “small favors”, like breaking your leg for an extra sexual arousal.

Letting them take compromising pictures of you (or filming you) during sex

Do we even have to explain what the downfalls of this seemingly innocent erotic practice are! Keep in mind that in this digitized world of ours, nothing is for “home use only” anymore.


A recent anonymous survey shows that an increasing number of gay men are getting addicted to participating in weekend-long, drug-fueled orgies. Despite the mental and sexual health risks! Plus, there is also the social factor. People may lose not only their health, but also their jobs because co-workers have complained they stink of Mephedrone upon their arrival at the office on Monday morning. In case you’ve already fallen victim to chemsex, it’s important that you get your sh*t together, and seek professional help.

Saying “Yes” to everyone

It feels as if it’s happened overnight. We suddenly found ourselves in a hypersexualized world with a couple of apps for gay dating on our phones that facilitate fast sex. We go to bed with people we don’t know and don’t really like just because we want to feel good about ourselves for at least 10 minutes. Or because we don’t want to look uncool in the eyes of our casual date. After having done it for some time, we eventually come to realize that compromising in bed makes us feel nothing but sadness and emptiness. We’re not living in a Brothers Grimm’s fairytale, so there’s no sense in kissing (and fucking) 150 frogs just to make sure we won’t miss the one and only Prince Charming.

Meat Loaf may have had his personal reasons when he once sang: “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.” It’s a good idea if you take his verse and make it your own personal mantra when it comes not only to love, but also to sex.

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