If you’re nervous about having sex with a trans man for the first time, don’t be! Sex should always be a fun act between two people who are attracted to each other, and there’s no reason why sex with a trans man should be any different. Granted, it's only natural to feel a little daunted doing anything for your first time. A few things may be a little different than sex with a cis man, but fear not! Follow these five tips and you’ll be sure to have a smooth transition from cis sex to trans sex.
1. Communicate beforehand about turn-ons, turn-offs and hard limits
Like all types of sex, communication beforehand plays a huge role in determining if the intercourse will be successful. Every person is different, so talk to your guy about what turns him on and what to avoid. A lot of guys crave total spontaneity in sex, but just trust me, it’s better to talk things over dinner first.
2. Address the genitals situation
Depending on factors like whether or he’s post-op / his relative testosterone levels, the genital situation can be a bit confusing to the uninitiated. Some trans men may have a preferred term for their nether-region (it’s probably not nether-region), so listen to what he has to say. Odds are that what used to be the clitoris is now engorged to the size of penis, which can be used for penetration and oral depending on his sensitivity level. The bottom line is, listen to what he says and prepare to go with the flow. Strap-ons can be a great option, but aren’t for everyone.
3. Be ready for the dysmorphia
There’s always a possibility that dysmorphia may rear its ugly head. Just remember that if the sex comes to a stop for this reason, it has nothing to do with his feelings toward you. Your guy may prefer to wear a shirt or binding during sex to help alleviate these feelings. Let me know your down for whatever!
4. Safety
As always, don’t forget to use protection! It’s still possible for some trans men to pregnant, so this is an additional concern beyond standard STI precautions.
5. Don’t treat him like he’s fragile
Most importantly though, don’t treat him like a fragile little snowflake. Sex is fun, and sometimes the it’s most fun when the play gets a little rough. You’ve got to straddle the line of keeping everything copacetic but not sterile and boring. You don’t need to be walking on eggshells trying to avoid hurting his feelings. He’s a grown-ass and can take it. ;)
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Follow these steps and you’re guaranteed to have amazing sex with your man.
