These days, the line between so-called "amateur porn" and "professional porn" has been a bit blurred by the various popular sites that allow hot people from around the world to monetize their cheeky selfies. That is to say, with all porn, somebody is making money i.e. is a professional, but there will always be a strong aesthetic distinction between--say--a couple of achievably attractive men and their webcam only a bedroom vs. a brightly lit studio production with multiple camera angles and seasoned industry veteran performers. Every masturbator knows there's a time and place for both types of porn, but here's six reasons we cheers to the amateurs!

1. They look like us

The big budget porn studios often employ men that just incredibly beautiful with perfect bodies. Obviously they're hot, but there's mysteriously even hotter about porn featuring guys that look like that cute grocery bagger.

2. They fuck like us

Similarly, professional porn often features exotic sex positions that really just induce awe and confusion more than arousal. In amateur porn, they fuck like I do, not like a Cirque du Soleil contortionist.

3. They're not all step-brothers

I guess the professional porn industry must be a pretty small world, because EVERYBODY seems to be step-brothers! But real talk, fictional incest is always gonna be hot because of the taboo effect, but it is often quite refreshing to see two people with little to no genetic overlap having sex.

4. You can't fake real chemistry

In this same vein, unless your porno is starring Chris Pratt or Meryl Streep or something, genuine chemistry is extremely difficult to pull off. Porn stars are often cast for their--let's say--sexual prowess more than their thespianism. Amateurs don't have to fake it, because presumably, they'd be fucking each other anyway and just so happen to decide to film it for our viewing pleasure.

5. Natural lighting is better

Hear me out, natural lighting just looks better. I don't need to see every single hair on your ballsack in vivid 4K detail. How about a little chiaroscuro cinematography, folks! Porn that reflects real-life romance just works better than porn that looks like Avatar.

6. Oh, the Moaning

Bro, all of my roommates can hear you screaming at the top of your lungs. Professional porn just has an extremely unrealistic depiction of how thin most walls are in West Hollywood, and the incessant moaning and dirty talk can drive me insane. In real life sex, if my partner was engaging in porn-type histrionics, I would simply call him an Uber!
July 02, 2021 — Andrew Christian
Tags: Listicles