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Article written by Maya Vukovska

Good sex is not only about skilful blowjob and deep penetration. Good sex is also about touching and sensing. Whether or not a happy ending is on the agenda, getting a nice massage from your partner can feel way better than actual sex. If you are willing to try it, here are some techniques to how to give your lover a relaxing and intimate massage that will also channel his sexual energy.

Traditional vs. erotic

First of all, you need to know the difference between the traditional massage and its erotic variation. The traditional one is about relieving muscle tension or reducing pain, while the aim of the erotic massage is sexual arousal. A professional masseur would leave out the private zones of the client. But to you, attending to the erogenous zones is completely allowed. A good erotic massage doesn’t necessarily have to end with getting his rocks off; it should, though, add to sexual stimulation.

Lube him well

And we don’t mean the asshole only! Before you start the massage, make sure your partner’s whole body or at least the torso and arms are well lubed. Use a scented oil for extra sensory pleasure. Lavender, eucalyptus, and frankincense (also known as olibanum) are said to work miracles. Apply the oil or the lotion to your hands first in order to warm it up, and then rub it into the skin of your man using gliding strokes. If you decide to go for a more extreme warming-up, use a candle. But not ANY candle! The massage candles are specially formulated to melt at lower temperatures compared to standard ones. NB! If you use condoms with your partner, don’t opt for a coconut emollient, as it is not latex-safe.

Knead him well

There are a few touching tactics that, once mastered, will help you enormously with your erotic massage. Effleurage is the basic one. It’s French for “skimming, touching lightly.” This type of massage is used to warm up the muscles before the petrissage - the real kneading job. The circular technique and the so-called, “kneading in folds” technique is what will further enhance the effect of the kneading. While the first one resembles an actual bread kneading, i.e. lifting, rolling, and compressing the muscles, the latter is applied with medium grips (formed by the fingers and palms) to the folds of the muscles. And remember: squeeze, don’t pinch!

Experiment with lingam

Probably you’ve heard of tantra sex, but you haven’t tried it because you’re more into quickie sex. Well, tantra sex is the equivalent of slow-cooking and it’s definitely worth trying. An essential part of tantra sex is the tantric massage, or lingam, which has been used since the dawn of time to triger sexual and sensual energy off. The whole process requires a lot of learning and practice, and we doubt that you can read about it in a “Tantric Massage for Dummies” manual, but there are some simple tips to follow.

Give the perineum all your attention

According to Hinduism and Buddhism, the kundalini energy, or the life force energy, lies in the perineum, and the ultimate goal of any tantric massage is to wake up this particular energy. The area, which lies between the testicles and the anus, and is considered to be the male G-spot, is full of pressure points that beg to be pressed and firmly massaged. Needless to say, you can access his prostate through this spot. For extra pleasure, use your knuckles.

The lingam massage is about paying respect to the penis

Lingam is, more or less, the Hindu word for dick, although it doesn’t literally translate to the penis. But it's not to be mistaken with a banal hand job, although it pretty much resembles one! Lingam is a representation of god Shiva, phallic in shape, so you need to be really caring and respectful when you perform the massage. You start by stroking from the base of the cock to the head with one hand, and then do the same with the other one. Then, change the direction of the stroking. The head of the penis, no matter whether it’s cut or uncut, is very sensitive and highly responsive to touch. Massage the head as if you are squeezing the juice out of an orange. But not too violent, of course.

If it’s done properly and not with the sole mission to make your partner cum, you’ll help him awake to a totally new realm of pleasure.

What you should keep in mind while giving your partner an erotic and/or tantric massage is that this physical activity is not about sex; it’s more of a sensual journey of self-discovery with someone you deeply care about.

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