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Article written by Maya Vukovska
Nobody enters a new relationship with the presumption it’s a lost cause. The scrambled chemicals in your brain make you believe THIS love is going to last forever. But it hardly ever does. You wake one day at the age of 40, and you realize you’ve had about 25 true loves… so far. Any new love is often so intoxicating that you miss the early warning signs that your relationship is doomed to fail. You think you are one of those guys endowed with the superpower to tell right away when other gay couples will break up. But are you able to forecast the future of your own relationship from the very start? If so, would you be willing to cut it in the bud? Here are some red flags that may help you be your own crystal gazer.
It’s totally normal to get swept up in an intense, round-the-clock love-making in the first weeks and of а new relationship. You both feel uneasy when you’re are away from each other even for a couple of hours. You can think of nothing else but grabbing each other’s asses as soon as possible, and throwing your bodies into a passionate whirlwind of lust. What you have to ask yourself, though, is whether sex is the only glue that holds the thing between you two together. If your honest answer is “yes”, don’t expect for he relationship to last long-term. If you have fallen in love with his body and the way he pleases yours, you can just as easily fall out of love. That’s the simple logic.
Your new partner is oh so loving and considerate to you - he gives you unexpected gifts now and then, steals kisses from you in the elevator, cooks you dinner, and would even watch a movie with Jennifer Lopez with you, although he hates the woman. All these gestures can blur your judgement, but you need to stay on the alert and observe how he treats other people. If he often loses his cool with waiters, cab drivers, and sales people, that’s a sign this same treatment is most likely to come your way sooner or later.
If Adam was a more self-willed man and didn’t do what Eve told him to, humankind would have probably evolved in a quite different direction. In any strong and long-term relationship, both partners need to be independent to some degree, and have their own interests, hobbies, and friend circles. If your new beau turns his back to his old friends to adopt yours, or takes up yoga, or spear fishing, or back-packing only because you enjoy these activities, that means he relies too much on you for his own happiness. Yes, you may like a partner who is similar to you in many ways, but a twinship of these proportions will eventually bore you to death.
You don’t show up anymore for the weekly poker nights with your buddies, and you totally ditch the traditional after-work drink with your colleagues. Your excuse? The official one: I have other plans. The real one: You can’t stand the thought you’ll spend even one of your spare minutes away from your new partner. As said above, such unhealthy habits lead to a dependancy in a relationship. Only in this case scenario, you’re the weak player.
No matter which one of you does it, it’s pretty annoying. And also it’s the reddish of the red flags that you’re not ready to move on. Even if he talks badly about the ex, that’s a pretty obvious sign that the current relationship won’t last. If you need to be sure your BF is still obsessed with his former lover, you start monitoring his behavior. Is he stalking the ex on social media? Check. Does he seem to be constantly caught up in drama with the ex? Check. Does he say the ex’s name out loud when he cums? Double check. Do you need more evidence that you, guys, won’t last until Thanksgiving??
Stonewalling is relevant to disengagement. This type of behavior is far more typical to men than women, and being a man yourself, you need to be double perceptive to detect its symptoms. Let’s say, you and your partner are discussing a certain subject, and, well, it smells like a fight, really. You’re trying to be as argumentative as possible, explaining your point to him. It’s seems he’s paying attention: eye contact, “uh-huh”, “sure, baby”, head nods. But is he really engaged in the conversation? No. Because you get zero feedback from him. What does it tell you? He is not simply avoiding the fight. By residing to get involved in your problems as a couple he’s trying to avoid responsibility for your relationship, too.Previous Next
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