Article written by Maya Vukovska

As we all know, men (and their penises) are divided into two groups - growers and showers. Of course, there’s also a third group in which fall men whose cocks are and remain small no matter what. But honestly, we are not really interested in this group right now. What we are really interested in is how to tell a guy’s junk size without getting into his pants. After all, when we go shopping for a new boyfriend, we’d like to know in advance the qualities of the “merchandise”, right? Some may argue that you can’t tell how big the dick is without having it in hand, and that feet, ears, height, etc. have no accurate correlation to its size. However, we are pretty sure we can give you some reasonable advice that might help you in your exploration study of male anatomy.

Do some math

For years, scientists have been trying to find a relationship between some physical aspects of the male body and the penis size. Although none of the findings can be 100% reliable, there’s a study, published in the Asian Journal of Andrology, that sounds pretty well grounded. The researchers recruited 144 volunteers, and while the subjects were under anesthesia, they measured the length of their fingers and their flaccid and erected penises. What they concluded was that the smaller the ratio between the second and fourth fingers is, the longer the erected penis is.

The femur never lies

A guy who owns a gay sauna and is also an acquaintance of mine swears to God that he can tell the length of a guy’s penis by looking at his femur. And he’s seen up close and personal more naked men, penises and femurs than anybody else who’s reading this now! If the guy’s leg, from the knee to the hip, is very long, that’s certainly a good sign. My friend claims that his observation holds true with 99% оf the men he’s met.

The behaviorist test

In a bar full of cute men how can you tell who’s got a big package? First of all, stay away from those who speak the loudest. If they are constantly bragging about how many times they’ve been to Thailand, how boutique their jeans and shoes are, and what amazing lovers they are, it’s quite unlikely they have much going on below the Gucci belt. The quiet ones, on the other hand, they who act relaxed around you don’t need to boost their sexual confidence with words and gestures. So, it’s a simple psychological axiom: those who overuse hyperboles are more inclined to lie about everything. Including their penis size.

Gym hulks are deceptive

If you want to know if a guy is well endowed, don’t base your perception on how ripped he is. A natural body type speaks more eloquently about the package under the waist. Sure, you find most of the muscular guys at the gym super attractive, and you probably believe that they are well hung, too, but that’s a classic trap you must beware of. Of course, not ALL beefy guys compensate their pickle dicks with overzealous work at the gym, but in my personal (and also shared) experience, I’d say that’s pretty much the case. Unfortunately, the fitness instructors haven’t come up yet with a physical exercise that guarantees penis enlargement.

“And where are you from, originally?”

If you doubt the legitimacy of the usual tricks (looking at his hands, or the shoe size), geography comes in handy. The co-relation between the geographical location of his ancestors and the penis size is actually backed up with solid scientific research. Over all countries, the average length of a penis is about 5.52 inches. The longest one is 7.06, and is to be found in… Congo. Other countries where men are blessed with extremely big genitals are Ecuador, Colombia, Venezuela, Cameroon, Bolivia, Sudan, and Brazil. At the bottom of the chart are Thailand, Cambodia, South and North Korea. And if you travel to Europe, you’ll find the most endowed men to be living in France, Netherlands, and Italy.

The Tailor’s Ruler Rule

It’s actually the simplest of all tricks. Once you have the guy’s consent, pull down his pants, pull out a tailor’s ruler, and just measure the length and the circumference.

I know that in theory, everybody’s looking for a big one. But boys, remember this: Sex is not about how big or small a penis is; it’s about how it’s been used. And trust me, it doesn’t always take a cock the size of a Coke can to make you see stars in the daytime!