Let's face it, dick pics are a common currency in the gay dating world. Love or hate 'em, they're often a necessary reality of hooking up. A good dick pic is like a delicious French cheese to be savored and enjoyed with a glass of wine, but a bad dick pic can make you want to puke. If you're not careful, you could end up committing a major faux pas that could leave you looking like a total mess. Before you take that next snapshot of your cock, make sure you're following this six tips!


Before you even boot up the camera app, make sure your intended recipient actually wants to see your penis. Don't forget about the context! Sending a dick pic out of the blue can be a major turn-off. You want to build up to the big reveal and make sure the other person is interested before you whip it out. Trust me, it'll be much more satisfying for both parties involved. Ya gotta read the room.

Bad Lighting

In the world of photography, lighting is everything. If your lighting is too harsh, you'll end up looking like a serial killer in a cheap motel. And honey, nobody wants that (unless... you're kinda into that aesthetic?). On the flip side, if your lighting is too dim, you'll be giving off total basement dweller vibes. Find a happy medium and let your peen bask in the perfect light.

On the Toilet

Fellas, I understand that it's convenient for you snap a quick dick pic while you're already sitting on the john with your pants down, but please... just don't. Unless you're engaging in some various specific form of kink (you know who you are), please leave your nasty-ass toilet out of the shot. Yuck!


Similarly, make sure to pay attention to your background. Nobody wants to see your dirty laundry or your unmade bed in the background. Make sure to tidy up a bit and create a setting that is worthy of your prized possession. You don't have drive 45 minutes to a trendy Instagram spot for your dick, but a couple nice props and a tidy background will really help the overall composition.

Filters & Emojis

Using an emoji sparingly every now and then to cover up your naughty bits can be a fun way to tease, but if you're going crazy with filters, overlays and Avatar-grade CGI, it's just going to distract from the focal point, which should be you actual un-Photoshopped dick. You can't fix bad lighting, bad composition, or unkempt pubic by boosting the saturation and pasting monkey emojis everywhere.

Crop & Zoom

Finally, take a step back! If I can see each individual pore in your skin or your balls are getting cropped out because the camera is so zoomed in, maybe find a new angle to take the pic. We're not saying you need a tripod and a NASA-grade zoom lens, but that dick needs some space in the frame to breath, honey!

So there you have it, follow these steps your dick pic is sure to get a heart react instead of getting your number blocked!