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Article by: Brittany Hancock

Dirty talk is a great option for spicing things up in the bedroom. It can also be a nightmare for those of us who are shy. If you fall into this category, you don’t have to be afraid. Even the wariest can learn to vocalize their needs in the bedroom with proper preparation. To begin, follow these seven simple tips for learning to talk dirty. You and your partner will be on the road to better sex in no time.

Go slow

If you have never tried dirty talk before, you will likely feel nervous at first. This is okay, take your time and build up to the moment. You can ease into the situation one night while cuddling. Casually bring up a fantasy he doesn’t know about and gage his response. This is a good time to go over what your partner feels comfortable with. He may find certain situations or words offensive and it’s smart to know this beforehand. It’s a nice learning experience about the things that turn your lover on and will lead to a better sex life.

Sending a photo while he’s at work can be a good way to start as well. Try snapping a picture of you in a sexy pose with a steamy caption that’ll make him want to take the day off. Continue by sending him messages throughout the day, so when he gets home he’s ready to tear you apart. The more comfortable you get with your sexuality, the easier it will be to express your desires in words.


One way to get comfortable with dirty talk is by practicing when you’re alone. Speaking the words out loud will give you a feel for what you sound like. This technique is also useful in building your confidence. By practicing it won’t seem so odd when those dirty little words come out of your mouth. This is a good time to prepare what you will say as well. You don’t want to be a stumbling mess in the middle of a sexual encounter. So, practice creating some sexy phrases that will drive him crazy. Try this every day until you feel comfortable, then you’re ready for the real deal.

Reading Examples

If you’re struggling to find the words to communicate your desires, look for some examples. Romance novels can be a good starter kit for someone who has never spoken dirty. These novels are filled with sexy descriptions designed specifically to get you in the mood. Work a few of these phrases into your practice time and see how they feel. Alternatively, you can utilize google to find some raunchy expressions.

Express Yourself

Now it’s time to vocalize your desires to him. When the moment starts getting heated, try letting out a quiet hiss or moan. A casual “mhmm” or “yes” are good starters. You don’t want to jump into the juicy stuff right away. Purse your lips up to his ears and let out soft whimpers of approval. This will really get the mood going and get you both lost.

As things progress, try being more vocal. If he’s getting you hot, let him know. Then as things begin to escalate tell him what you want. What can he do in that moment to perform better? Where do you want him to touch you? Do you want to try something new? Whatever it is you have in mind, let him know. Likewise, you can tell him what you want to do to him. Just remember to respect the boundaries you previously discussed.

Role Play

If you’re still nervous about the idea of putting yourself out there, try being someone else. Talk to your partner about doing a little role play. By slipping into character, you may feel less responsible for your dirty language. The situation won’t be so personal anymore and you have an easy escape should things get weird.

Don’t Think Too Much

Overthinking will be your greatest obstacle when it comes to talking dirty. Self-doubt will quickly invade your thoughts and make you less likely follow through. You will really need to tap into your inner confidence to be able to speak your deepest desires. So, try not too think too much. Just focus on the moment and let your inner vixen take control. Your body will thank you in the end.

Have Fun

The most important thing to remember in this situation is to have fun. You’re trying to better your sex life, not perform surgery. Enjoy yourself and don’t take things too seriously. If things don’t go the way you plan, laugh it off. You may feel a little embarrassed, but it won’t be the end of the world. No one is recording you and the awkwardness will soon pass.

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