My analyst assures me, the oral stage I shirked as a baby
Of course I don't smoke, so why do cigars drive me crazy?
My mouth ain't erogenous, I don't stray from mastication.
...could it be? I'm fixated on oral fixation?
Why do I tingle engulfed in cancerous Cubano plumes?
Downright offensive the flavor, and toxic the fumes!
But those lips and those teeth chomping down on tobacco,
They make my heart beat oh-so forte e marcato!
It's a tough situation--I know Sigmund wrote with no malice,
But it does make me cringe when they use words like "fellatio" and "phallus."
With more analysis, I know these weird thoughts will whittle away,
It's such an embarrassing quirk, people could start thinking I'm gay!