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We talk about sexuality as being a spectrum, but it’s not merely one linear spectrum. To accurately chart all the nuances of one’s sexuality, it would take a large number of intersecting, disparate spectrums. Think about it: there’s the gay-bi-straight one we usually talk about, but also top-bottom, dominant-submissive, varying preferences in men, etc. But one spectrum that doesn’t get talked about as much is that of exhibitionist-voyeur.

There’s still a lot of stigma regarding these terms, as they often come with a predatory connotation. You say, “I’m an exhibitionist”, and a lot people assume that means you walk around Central Park in nothing but a trench coat. But just like how people who participate in sadomasochistic sex aren’t necessarily out there attacking strangers in public, it’s important to divorce these terms from the extreme context.

Deep down, everyone is either a little voyeuristic or exhibitionistic. On a technical level, this terms just mean that you either like watching or you like being watched. Of course one of those descriptions applies to you! If you’ve ever watched porn or ogled, slack-jawed and frothy, at Go-Go Boy, congrats, you’ve participated in voyeurism! And if the thrill of stealing a secretive tryst with a lover while roommates sleep on the other side of thin walls was that little extra umpf needed to bring you to a mind-blowing orgasm, then you may be a little bit of an exhibitionist! Or even if you just enjoy showing a little bit of a bulge in your pants, that's your exhibitionist side.

But before you go installing a 24/7 public live stream GoPro in your shower, first just experiment with your partner and see what tickles your fancy. If you're a voyeur, ask him to perform a striptease for you. If you're an exhibitionist, try asking your partner to watch you masturbate. When you apply the scientific method to sexuality, you can find out exactly where you lie any given spectrum, and thereby optimize each sexual experience for maximum pleasure. By being honest with yourself about your sexuality and practicing it safely with a lover, you’re always be guaranteed to jizz buckets. ;)

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