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In Greek mythology, Narcissus was a young, drop dead gorgeous hunter, son of a god and a nymph. We have solid evidence that he might have also been gay: first, he spurns the love of a sexy mountain nymph, and second, he falls in love with his own reflection! Unfortunately, the guy wasn’t as smart as he was beautiful. He let himself be fooled by the goddess of revenge, Nemesis, who maliciously lured him to a pool. So, when he saw his reflection in the water, he instantly fell in love with himself. As could be expected, this one-way relationship came to a dead end. Literally! As Narcissus found it impossible to draw himself away from the pool, he died of thirst and starvation. In modern days, the poor hunter gave his name to a personality disorder. People who have it are not necessarily killer lookers, but they can definitely kill the joy in your life if you let them get close to you. These people may be insulting, promiscuous, consider themselves superior to others, and, what’s worse, the moment you are already very much in love with them, they suddenly lose interest in you. If you have doubts that you are dating such a person, here are some warning signs that you may be right.
He knows which button turns the charm on
You think you’re the luckiest man alive because the most charismatic guy has laid his eyes on you. At every party, people just love being around him, and struggle to steal at least a small piece of his attention. But at the end of the day it’s you he kisses. And feeds home-made mac-and-cheese. And fucks really good. BUT! You are not paying enough attention. Your relationship is moving like some whirlwind TV romance, and that’s why you consciously chose to ignore that you play the game by his unspoken rule: He expects you to make him feel attractive, priceless, and smart, and in return he’ll make you feel loved. But the moment you even dare to criticize him, you’re quickly sent to the trash heap. Where, according to a narcissist, you belong.
And that’s only the top of the iceberg. You’ve probably already noticed how neatly and methodically organized his wardrobe is. If you still can’t decide what is freakier, how well ordered he keeps everything, or how much he enjoys it, consider this: Narcissists have an extremely high need to keep everything under control and in perfect state. If he constantly calls you sloppy, and sees almost everything you do as a faux pas, that’s probably it. The demand for perfection makes your narcissistic boyfriend dissatisfied.
In the beginning of your passionate relationship, you thought that was cute - him making this angry, kid-like face every time you refuse to do something. Narcissists feel not only insulted, they are in shock when they are told “no”. Very much like a small child. And because they rarely recognize boundaries, they’ll put great effort in figuring out how to get what they want. Be it through persisting, demanding, and, of curse, buttering you up. Unluckily for you, without butter.
Yes, it does sound as if we are talking about some Hannibal Lecter or Norman Bates type of character, but alas, this is what narcissists and sociopaths have in common. They are almost never apologetic. Their personal vocabulary lacks the word guilt. In his self-involvement, your boyfriend never notices when you are on the verge of an emotional breakdown. That’s because he doesn’t really care. He may say “I love you”, and ask how you are after a long and stressful day at work, but that’s only because he very well knows what socially acceptable behavior is. His lack of empathy is what made you doubt the true essence of your relationship in the first place. He just never takes account of how you are feeling. Or anyone else, for that matter.
“I am sacrificing so much, and have given up my fab life to be with you, and how you pay me back? By being ungrateful - that’s how.”
“If you go on this business trip, I’ll be devastated. And bored! And will probably call my ex to see how he’s doing.”
These sentences are very much likely to come out of the mouth of a narcissist. That’s because once they’ve got you trapped in a relationship, they hijack your emotions. They make you believe that if you don’t help them, or do whatever they require, you’re a bad person, and they’re your victim.” Narcissist are expert gas-lighters and will always find a way to place the blame on you for everything.
If any of these qualities sound familiar to you, then it's very possible that you're dating a narcissist, in which case, it's time to get out of there--- FAST!Previous Next
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