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Article written by Alexander Rodriguez, host of On the Rocks with Alexander

Confidence in the bedroom is sexy. Super sexy. Match good confidence with a handsome face and a cute butt, and there you have Ari Koyote, a transmasculine nonbinary performer, model, and kinky companion. Ari has filmed with trans studios and beyond and has shared the screen with many of your favorite gay porn stars. Despite Ari’s innocent looks, he certainly can turn up the heat once the camera starts rolling.

Based out of his suitcase, he loves the sex work industry and his ever-changing lifestyle. Nothing to him is more redeeming than showing people who aren't typically accepted for their gender or sexuality that they can have fun, deserve pleasure, and are incredibly sexy in their own skin. Ari is unapologetic in his approach to sex, activism, and the adult film world.

We had an amazing chat

How did you come up with your adult biz name?

So, I have always loved the name Ari! It’s such a beautiful name. I actually really wanted to change my name legally to Ari, but my family was concerned that it would be confusing because I grew up as a southern, Christian Methodist horse girl. So… I just decided to use it as my porn name instead! As for Koyote, at some point at the wise age of 18, I thought “Coyote” would be a sexy name. Then, after getting locked out of my first email account under “Ari Coyote,” I made another one by switching the C out for a K.

I did have a minute of buyers’ remorse when I started to use that name more widely, thinking it was too weird or something. But soon after, I fell back in love with my name. No one forgets it.

What do you wish people would stop asking you?

I’d love for people to stop asking me about my status in transitioning. Will I get more surgeries? How many have I had? It’s not a big deal! Enjoy my body exactly how it is right now. That’s the most important part. I’m not planning on changing anything else anytime soon!

What do you wish people would start asking you?

“How should I touch your clit?” Because honestly, a lot of people get this wrong. I even got it wrong for a while on other people, because I was sure that I was the exception! The clit has many different parts (just like a penis), except it's about twice as sensitive due to around twice as many nerve endings! It's super easy to find yourself overstimulating your partner. Unless you've been told otherwise, relax and take it gentler. It’s always better to be asked to go harder and faster than hear, “ouch! That hurts.”

You have filmed scenes for trans specific websites...are you ever in fear of fetishizing trans sex?

Not particularly. I would never allow a cis person to demean and degrade me based on my transness, and I think fetishization is largely an action taken by the viewer. Unfortunately, some people will fetishize my body regardless of the way I show it, whether I make porn independently, shoot for larger studios, or even decided to only share non-sexual, PG13 content. The best I can do is continue to make content that makes me feel confident, sexy, and respected while ensuring my scene partner(s) feel the same way!

Have you had to deal with any issues costars who have never filmed a sex scene with a trans man?

Ooooh! Tea time, haha. Fortunately, I’ve never had what I’d call “issues!” But there have definitely been times when the pussy power has really freaked some guys out. I’ve seen gay culture evolve so much, even just in the last 4 years. Vaginas have been historically seen as so terrifying and gross in gay culture (remember Platinum Stars?), and I think there are still many guys who have been grappling with the acceptance and comfort with vaginas taking up a space in their sexuality. Luckily, while I still see tons of first-timers when filming, no one has had any issues of any kind in over a year!

You are a kinky companion - what does that mean?

I love the in-person work that I get to do with my clients, and I’ve described myself as a “part-time boyfriend” for a few years now. While it’s been fantastic and I’ll never stop offering that expression of my sexuality, I’m actually kinkier than I’ve shown in past years. I want my work to reflect that. Incorporating more kink and fetish has made me fall in love with my work all over again!

What are the biggest things that turn you on during sex?

I love the smell of a man after the gym! Bring me those pits.
Primal sex is my kryptonite. If you like wrestling, growling, biting… Call me. (But only if you can take it as well as you can dish it!)
Versatility! I love bottoming, don’t get me wrong. Just because I have 3 holes doesn’t mean I don’t want to fill yours, too. Likely with my whole hand… if you can take it.

What do you love the most about being in the adult film world?

I have never had a job where I felt so much freedom. I travel when and where I want, film as often as I need to, meet new (incredibly sexy) people all the time and get to have pretty fantastic conversations with most of them. I can’t imagine that I’ll run out of gorgeous new friends to flirt and film with any time soon!

Are you watching more or less porn during COVID - and what kind?

I probably watch the same as before COVID. My sex drive runs at a steady pace, and it doesn’t let up! I’m a sucker for bondage porn with forced orgasms. If someone is fully immobilized and someone else is working them over (with fingers, toys, fists, you name it!) to make them cum? I am, too.

There is an emerging term of non-binary - what does non-binary mean to you?

For me, being non-binary has been about liberating myself from the need to perform masculinity in ways that cater more to other people than myself. When I first transitioned, I only saw trans men thrive that “passed” in society. The only way to be an acceptable trans person was to assimilate as closely to society’s expectations as possible.

Finally, after transitioning and working to fit into the expectations of typical masculinity, I realize that I did that so much more for cis people’s perception of me than myself. It was about safety and comfort in public, not about who I really am. Finding comfort in being non-binary has meant embracing that I don’t personally identify with stereotypical manhood. I’m a product of all my parts, history, and experiences, and I want to show that with pride.

Where do you see yourself in five years?

I have a fat retirement account and a cute mortgage on a beautiful house. I go camping every other week in different parks across the country. I am flooded with bookings for porn shoots, and I regularly tour internationally. I have a graduate degree in counseling, and I'm working toward or currently am a sex therapist.

Generally, I want to help people, trans and cis, queer and straight, kinky and vanilla, to accept and love themselves. And that includes having a healthy, satisfying, comfortable sex life that works for them. It took me long enough to find my confidence in and appreciation for all the complicated facets of my sexuality, and unfortunately, it takes most people much longer.

Who is your celebrity crush?

I go through a rapid rotation of men who have played (in porn or on TV) hot, husky, bearded dads. I’ve mentioned Al Borland from Home Improvement in the 90s easily three times this week as an unending childhood crush, so I’m sticking with it.

If you were to design a pair of Andrew Christian underwear, what would they look like?

All we need is a tiny red (maybe even plaid) pair of undies that mimics a union suit. When the flap is down, it looks more like a jockstrap. When the flap is up, it looks like a cute homage to the union suit. This is full gay lumberjack butt-flap realness. It’s cute, it’s functional, and it’s a stand-alone costume for the sluts (me) on Halloween.

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