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Dear Agatha,

I seem to have been dealt a hopeless combination of personality and kink. I'm a walking oxymoron doomed to the plight of the Pushmi-Pullyu. On one hand, I am a quiet, shy, introverted man. I enjoy nothing more than a quiet evening alone, but when I get horny... the fantasies always involve humiliation and punishment of the exhibitionist kind. I fantasy about being paraded nude through the neighborhood by a sadistic master. But naturally, I find it difficult to discuss these fantasies with my few and far between lovers. And furthermore, I recoil in anxiety at the actual prospect of my leaving myself for anything more socially-demanding than a trip to the store for eggs and milk. So please tell me Agatha, what can a man like me do when his heart wants one thing and his dick wants the opposite?

Sincerely,

Kinky Introvert

Dear Kinky Introvert,

Has it occurred to you that the anxiety and fetishization you associate with being exposed in public are two sides of the same psychic coin? Either way you toss it, you're heart starts racing at the idea. As with all things in life, we must strive to find a balance. Take things one step at a time. Once you can consistently make prosaic sojourns without anxiety, you may find that your humiliation fantasies curb in equal measure. But then again, the heart wants what the heart wants. Anxiety can conquered, but kinks are more immutable. Look inward for truth.

XOXO,

Agatha

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