Dear Agatha,

I've recently started dating this new guy, who--to put it bluntly--is probably out of my league. He's gorgeous, athletic and super popular. Why he went for me is a mystery. Well, a mystery that is currently unraveling. The past several times we've hooked up, he's been unable to look me in the eyes. He spends all of his attention on my cock, sucking it, fondling it, caressing it. But he won't even kiss me. I realize that I have an above-average cock and a below-average face, but I am starting to feel insulted. Any advice?



Dear Toby,

This man is not worth your time. Find someone who loves you for who you are and what your entire body looks like. Sounds like you've got a real gift of a cock, which means you'll have no trouble finding other men to pleasure it like he did. But everyone knows that eye contact is an essential part of intimacy... and blowjobs. You deserve better, so ditch him and don't look back. Sounds like he's out of your league.