Dear Agatha, I am feeling conflicted about a situation that I’ve found myself in. I met a guy on a dating app, and we’ve been casually seeing each other for sex on a regular basis. I just found out on our last encounter that he is actually a straight married man, living a down low life. He came clean to me after he got a phone call while we were having sex, and I noticed how quickly his demeanor had changed. I could also hear a woman’s voice on the phone. After I heard him lie to the woman on the phone about where he was at, I decided to confront him. He came clean that he is indeed married to a woman with children and he would always take his wedding band off before entering my apartment. He has his “fun” as he calls it, when he’s commuting to or from work. I haven’t seen him since he revealed this information to me, but he has reached out in an attempt to meet again. I do miss the sex and enjoy our time together, but I feel like this is bad karma. If I keep seeing this married man, does that make me a bad person? Kind regards, Brent
Dear Scott, It’s evident to me that you are a considerate person with a conscious, otherwise you wouldn’t of wrote in seeking out an opinion on this sticky situation. You are not responsible for the unknown, so the encounters that you’ve experienced with this married man prior to you learning about his wife — I certainly can’t judge you for, nor should others. But this is something that is clearly on your mind. Now that you’ve learned that he is cheating on his wife and living a double life, would you be comfortable knowing that you’re contributing to this? Possibly to the demise of a marriage/family or this woman’s mental and physical health — would your conscious be clear? It seems like you’re stuck between lust and integrity. I think you’d sleep better at night knowing your conscious is clear and your integrity is still in tact. XOXO, Agatha
February 06, 2023 — Andrew Christian
Tags: Ask Agatha