Dear Agatha,
I will confess that I have some particularly strange kinks. Well, actually I suppose that it's more accurate to say that I lack kinks altogether. My boyfriend has a super-high libido and every time we start cuddling, it very rapidly escalates into kissing, grinding, sucking and then finally rough and wild fucking. Of course, I don't really mind any of those things. But I'm a believer in the philosophy of less-is-more. Subtlety and minimalism are the spice of life--I like invoking my sense of lust and desire. As they taught me in film school, it's better to leave someone wanting more than bored and overwhelmed. What I am trying to say is that, I just want to my boyfriend to hold my cock gently and softly like it's his favorite toy. No stroking, no sucking--just holding. Don't ask me to explain beyond that, but the sad truth is that I suspect my boyfriend is incapable of restraining himself. Any advice?
Sincerely,
Mark
Dear Mark,
Mismatched sex-drives can be a difficult obstacle to overcome in long-term relationships, but it sounds like that isn't exactly the issue here. Rather, it seems like you do in fact have a particular fetish. When you ask him to hold your dick without masturbating it, that shouldn't be interpreted as you turning down sex. Communicate honestly with him what you want, and that it's more about teasing and building erotic tension. It seems like your boyfriend wants to give you as much pleasure as he can, so this is just a matter of explaining to him that--ironically--less pleasure can sometimes be more pleasure. If anything, you seem kinkier than him. If he can't understand your desires, than you may be better off finding someone who can.
XOXO,
Agatha
