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Dear Agatha,

So, something very peculiar has just happened to me and I really don’t know how to proceed. I work in an office for a smallish company, and we use one of those of proprietary work chat platforms for inter-office communications. Well, last night well after business hours had ceased, I received a notification on my phone that one of my coworkers--let’s call him Steve--had just sent a video to our entire office group chat. Now, Steve sits next to me at work and is a polite, reserved straight guy. So what audio-visual update did Steve think so important as to alert the entire office? Well, imagine my shock when I realize that he’s sent a periscope video of him, fully nude, moaning and masturbating. The video is a couple minutes long, and well… I couldn't resist watching it until the end. Let’s just say somebody should give him a promotion. But my question to you is, how do I respond when I go into work on Monday? Should I act like it never happened? Laugh it off? Send a dick pic back in the group chat?

Please advise,

Peter from HR

Dear Peter from HR,

If there’s no doubt that Steve made an honest mistake, then your best bet is to play it cool and let him laugh it off. There’s no point in pretending like it didn’t happen. Letting this video be an eternal elephant in the office that no one addresses will only make Steve more uncomfortable. Acknowledge the humor of it and let everyone move on with their lives. And because I know you’re thinking it, you pervert--you do have a moral obligation to delete the video. Don’t download it to your spankbank. The Gods have blessed you with a peak into the private life of a straight masturbator, but don’t overdo it. The gods giveth and they taketh away. That was a private video and doesn’t belong to you. So jerk off to it one more time, and then forget about it.

XOXO,

Agatha

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