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Dear Agatha,

I've been a good quarantiner and now I want to fuck! Don't I deserve it? I feel like I do. I've abided by all the guidelines and procedures laid out by the professionals... but even Dr. Fauci himself couldn't have predicted the medically-unprecedented levels of horniess that I am currently experiencing. The point is, I need... cock. And there's this guy I've been chatting with. We've both been self-isolating for months, so we're almost certainly clean. Isn't there some way I can suck this man's dick without jeopardizing the safety of my community?


Horny on Main-street

Dear Horny on Main-street,

Firstly, I think we all feel your pain. Everyone is either sex-starved or stuck only having sex with their significant other (which is the same thing as being sex-starved, right fellas??). Anyway, here's the bottom line: I'm not a position to be giving out medical advice. Making any sort of social contact is something you're going to have to evaluate for yourself on a case to case basis. But if you can sort out all the logistics of a safe hookup where nobody is put at risk besides the two of you, then that can be a decision you two make for yourselves. Swapping fluids with someone new is always going to pose some dangers. And right now, it poses even greater risk. So despite how horny you may be, you need to stop and think with your head, not your dick.



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