Dear Agatha, I’m a lonely man. No, I don’t long for a lay or even need a man to hold at night. I have dating apps like everyone else. But how the hell do I find a single gay platonic friend? Somebody to grab a drink with and shoot the shit with no expectation of romance? I just moved from my hometown to a much bigger city, and there aren’t any gay people at my office. Every gay guy I mean the old fashioned way usually just wants sex. But friendship has benefits that you just don’t get when it’s friends WITH benefits. Please help Agatha: how do I find gay friends that are totally platonic (except maybe a one or two blowjobs now and then)? Sincerely, Friendless
Dear Friendless, What you need is a sense of community in something besides your work life and love life. And yes, you’ll need to find a method of meeting people that doesn’t involve the prerequisite expectation of sex. There’s no cruising for meaningful friendships. You need something else to base on your friendship on besides just the fact that you’re both attracted to the same gender. Find a sport to play, find a scene, find a hobby. There’s plenty of communities of gay men out there doing things beside fucking each other. And if you don’t like to do anything in particular, then there’s communities of people who don’t identify with communities. Be open to finding your people, and you will always succeed. XOXO, Agatha
October 18, 2019 — Andrew Christian
Tags: Ask Agatha