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Think about how you and your man spend your time together. Does he always come up with the ideas of what you're going to do on date night? Do you feel constant, ambient fear of abandonment? Do you bounce from one relationship to the next, dreading any moments that you're forced to spend alone? Well, my friend, if these questions run a little bit too close to home, then you may be stuck in a cycle of codependent relationships! And if that's the case, then it's time to break free!
A healthy relationship will compliment and help the development of the otherwise independent lives of the two people involved. As the saying goes, you've got to learn to love yourself before you can truly love another. So if you feel an existential dread at the thought of not being in a relationship, then your first step should be to practice some self-care. Are you getting all your basic needs met? Is there something fixable in your life that is making you deeply unhappy? Put some effort into things that will make it easier to be content when you're alone.
If the idea of going to a restaurant solo, going to see a movie alone, or even watching Netlix alone in your apartment scares you, then I highly recommend you start, little by little, stepping outside your comfort zone by doing these little thing independently. Once you unlock the ability to enjoy yourself alone, the world becomes your oyster and relationships become the cherry on top!
Of course, the root causes of co-dependency can run very deep. By its very nature, this reliance on others is difficult to break free from... by yourself. You'll probably have to lean on friends a bit initially, but just remember the goal is satisfaction in your self as an individual. And for guys who are really struggling, therapy is definitely a great option as well! You can finally get down to those oh-so repressed childhood traumas. Whoo-hoo!
Ultimately though, like almost everything in life, it's a fine balancing act. The way to cure your codependency is not to lock yourself in a log cabin in the woods. It's all about baby steps, baby! Because being happy with yourself just makes it easier to be happy with others. :)Previous Next
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