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Everyone hates rejection. Whether you’re the one being told that he’s not interested in you or you’re the one doing the rejecting, its an inherently unpleasant part of dating. But with social media and dating apps taking over the way we meet people, there is a growing temptation to just ghost him rather than be honest about your feelings. However, this is an urge that must be overcome! Here’s why honesty, brutal as it may be, it always better than ghosting.
One of the reasons why these apps make ghosting so tempting is that there is a strong sense of abstraction. Deep down, it’s hard to really believe that disembodied six-pack I matched with is ACTUALLY really a person. You have no obligation for courtesy to this stranger, you’re just playing a video game, right? Or so it seems. But of course, the reality is that there’s another human being on the other side of that, who or may or may not appreciate your terseness and unsolicited dick pics.
You wouldn’t want to be ghosted, so why do it someone else? Karma has a way of coming back around. The sudden disappearance of a guy you’ve been chatting up can leave your head spinning. Was it something I said? Am I just hopelessly unattractive? Is he in danger and unable to respond? There’s nothing painless about ghosting, instead it causes anxieties and paranoia to grow and fester. If you’ve decided that you’re not longer interested in someone, just tell him politely and honestly why. Even a “Hey, you seem like a great guy, but I don’t see this working out” does wonders! It will sting for a moment, but provided much-needed closure.
Additionally, honest communication can even function as constructive criticism. Don’t be mean or bitchy if you can help it, but if there’s a particular deal breaker, just be honest about with him. If he’s got terrible hygiene or incompatible sexual preferences, let him know. That way he’ll be free to find someone who DOES mesh with these qualities which he may not even be aware of, and then you can refine exactly what it is that you look for in a man.
Anyone who you respect enough to go out on one date with should be worthy of your honesty as well. Be the change that you want to see in the world. So if you’re tired of getting ghosted, then first you must stop ghosting others.Previous Next
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