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Article written by J Matthew Cobb
There’s something about knowing your man is near. There’s that comfort in being able to see their face, nab a kiss, get a good fuck in when you want it. Someone to cuddle with, Netflix and chill on the regular. Ahh... But for men constantly on the go, a reality for most white-collar millennials and those with non-traditional jobs, the idea of being in a long-distance relationship seems like a struggle.
There are a host of other reasons why long-distance relationships can be a total pain. School, work, family issues, you name it. And oh yes, the struggle is real. There’s the constant loneliness that’s emotionally draining to deal with. And then the insecurities start to get out of control, coupled with that nagging fear of cheating. For those who’ve tried and failed at it, me included, it’s a total beast of burden – almost a no-no for future planning. But hey, it’s not all doom and gloom. Don’t count it out completely. It can work, with some creativity and a little elbow grease.
A lifetime ago, the prospects of a long-distance relationship surviving seemed slim.
But in the world of social dating apps, DM’s and text messaging, where connecting with a world of communities is just a button away, anything’s possible.
Because of technology, it’s easier these days to find a mate. Of course, there’s email, dating websites, message boards and trolling your crush on Facebook and the ‘Gram. But via hookup and social dating apps, one can ramble through profile pics and discover match-making tools that’ll make it easier for connections to be made. Gone are the days of long-distance relationships relying only snail mail or a telegram to connect. Because of today’s innovation in the tech world, relationships have a safety net to fall on. It’s just easier to stay in touch. And that’s a good thing.
Also, download a social conference platform to your laptop, iPad or smartphone, or use Facetime. It’ll come in handy, especially when you want to get creative and wish one another good night with a little extra pizazz.
Now here comes the hard part, where the real work begins. Can a relationship marred by distance survive solely on power of tech? Well, it all depends on the persons, the bond of the two and some organization, so make sure your relationship is healthy enough before distance becomes a factor.
Look on the bright side. Sometimes having that space in between can be a good thing. When you’re constantly living under the shadow of your mate, you start to feel smothered. The time apart allows you a little breathing room. And that physical time apart will help you become more appreciative of them when they come back around, so use that time of distance to better learn and discover yourself. And here’s a good footnote for ya: Spend that extra time with friends, family or good associates that you’ve probably neglected over time.
Believe it or not, but oftentimes, too much communication can kill a mood. Just like hardly any communication, too much talking can be jarring. You gotta learn how to strike the perfect balance. So, schedule some time to talk, whether it’s by phone, Facetime or by random text. And try to throw some extra naughty flirtation into the mix. That way, when you two meet up again in person, you’ll already be riled up for some good lovin’.
Oh, and make sure you don’t turn into Inspector Gadget on your boo. Don’t become that guy worried about every single movement of your man. It’ll make you look desperate and predator-like. You’ll open a Pandora’s box of fear, uncertainty and even distrust. When you start to panic to that effect, your relationship is probably already in the red and in need of some dire counseling.
For the working couple, where both are contributing equally to the house, there’s a good chance that both are already understanding of their sorta-hectic lives. What’s the key ingredient in making it work? You must possess a great level of patience. And let’s be honest, if you don’t have patience before the distance goes awry, you’re already screwed. So, learn how to exercise patience, especially when you know you’re about to go the distance.
So, in the long run, long-distance relationships can work. But it takes commitment, communication and lots of effort. And sure, there will be obstacles in the way, from fear of infidelity to homesickness, but if you’re willing to put in the time and the investment, the results can be rewarding.
Oh, and if you’re thinking about going the open relationship route, still communicate with your partner. Set perimeters and achievable goals together. It’s better that they know things from you and not from the mouths of others.Previous Next
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