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Article written by Sam Machado

Happy New Year, guys! Let's forget about the travesty of 2020 and take a fresh start in 2021.

Most of us are still single and quarantine is obviously not helping. There are limits to how we can meet people and we still don't know how long it'll take until we get back to reality. But thankfully, we still have options available when it comes to dating. But if you had a hard time dating in 2020 (or, any year), take a look at some dating mistakes to avoid if you want to be more successful in finding that special someone.

Chasing

Know the difference between "trying" and "chasing." Of course, it's important to give him a shot even if you're unsure how he'll respond. Reaching out after that first virtual date to see if he's interested in having a second virtual date is perfectly acceptable. But if you're getting the impression he's not feeling it, then no need to tease your way back in with a dick pic or trying to make small talk after several ghosted texts. It's okay (and important) to be vulnerable and to reach out. But know when it's time to let things be and move forward. Wasting your time on that one guy will just leave you sad and stressed. Save your emotions for someone who's worthy of your time.

Expecting A Lot

It's a new year, but obviously, not that much has changed since 2020. Maybe we'll see a bigger change as time goes on, but times are still difficult. The guys you meet for dates may be going through difficulties with their jobs, families, sanity, etc. As much as we would love to see a light at the end of the tunnel this year, just know that it may still be a process before we can make a solid connection with someone. It's hard enough to connect with someone when a pandemic is NOT happening, but when the pandemic is still here, you have to take it easy and not expect him to fall head over heels in love with you when there's already so much baggage in the world. Try to treat the first date as a pleasant conversation with a cute guy instead of assuming you'll feel hard love after one hour.

Being Reckless in a Pandemic

Talk to him over Zoom, Facetime, whatever digital options there are. If you do meet in person, wear a mask. Make sure you've been isolated for at least two weeks. Be safe!

Craving Attention

Ask yourself: do you like this guy? Or, do you just want his attention? We're all lonely in this weird time so we might think we're falling for him, but in reality, we just might want someone to talk to. There's nothing shameful about that! But just make sure you're considering where your feelings are. If he's giving you the shady vibe, ask yourself if you really like this guy. Maybe you just want an ego boost. If you want him to like you just to make yourself feel better, then it's not worth pursuing. Move on.

Giving Up Too Soon

Don't give up on him yet...unless, of course, you need to. If he's made it clear he has no desire in continuing this with you, then keep the search going. But if you had one virtual date and you're not sure how you're feeling about it yet, there's no harm in giving it a few more dates. Usually, a lot of us don't feel much for someone after a one-hour conversation. There's probably a lot more to this guy that you have yet to discover and if it turns out you still don't feel it later, then feel free to move on. But stop giving up because you didn't feel love at first sight immediately. Those things are rare and pretty misleading anyway. Get to know him better before you make rash decisions. You never know if there's something in him you're missing. Or, maybe he could be a new friend!

Ghosting

Not feeling it? Tell him the truth. Be kind about it, but don't leave him hanging. Let ghosting be a thing of the past.

Assuming There's Something Wrong With You

Meeting that special someone is hard. And 2021 is still going to be hard. Don't beat yourself up because you haven't found him yet. Maybe it'll happen this year, maybe it won't. Whatever happens, be kind to yourself. You won't get anywhere without self-compassion.

Relying on Him for Happiness

You know the only person who's responsible for your happiness? You're a smart guy. You know the answer to that question! Find your own happiness and consider Mr. Right as nothing more than just an added bonus to your life. Be the best version of you!

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