Do You Like What You See In the Mirror?
Article written by Maya Vukovska
We, as a modern Western society, are made to think that body confidence is mainly a women's issue. But for many gay men, too, the whole body image thing has taken a sinister turn. Studies show that there is a link between body image dissatisfaction and being part of the gay community. Attending a circuit party in Barcelona or Miami, wearing only a tiny pair of sequin briefs, and not getting enough Instagram likes can make every gay man grieve and seriously doubt his attractiveness. Joking aside, we all worry that we are not sexy because we don't have certain "looks". But if it's really only in our heads, as psychologists claim, how can we "fix" it so that we can start liking what we see in the mirror?
"Save it for a rainy day"
We simply don't believe that there is such thing as "every day is I-hate-my-mirror day"! There must be certain days when you catch your reflection in the car's back mirror, or you take a really good selfie and you don't even need a filter to enhance its visual appeal. For a moment, you are left breathless by how handsome you actually are. On shiny days like these, listen closely to what your brain is telling you, and use the happy memories to light up the rainy days when the mirror doesn't act as your ally.
Healthy and clean means attractive
According to a recent global survey, beauty is defined by looking healthy in the first place, closely followed by looking clean and feeling comfortable in one's skin. The good news is that you don't need to spend half of the rest of your life at the gym in order to maintain a perfect six-pack. But you should invest more spare time and money in treating yourself well. Instead of torturing your body with spartan training regimes just listen to it. Eat, sleep and exercise when and how your body tells you.
Expand your grooming routine and use hair and facial products to maintain a healthy-looking appearance. After all, showing up on a date night looking like The Big Lebowski won't work miracles for you.
Shake off your ex
One of the reasons why people stop feeling sexy and desirable is because they've gone through a messy breakup. We get it - your ex moved on, you still haven't, and it sucks. But you can bet on one thing. Now, with a divorce on the way and all, even Kim, the icon, must be feeling as if she'd been run over by a tractor. Both you and Mrs. Kardashian-West are probably thinking, "Was it me? Did I let this happen?" No, honey, it was Trump, the pandemic, the global warming, the super-size portions at the local Mexican diner, and... Kanye's manic depression. Stop beating yourself over the past and focus on what's coming up next.
Invent your fabulous self
Probably that's not something you gonna hear your mom say, but that's what we are for - to tell you that one of the ways to re-invent yourself and start liking what you see in the mirror is to turn the world as you know it upside down. Get your nipples pierced, change your hair color, paint your nails purple, wear a small dog in a handbag, start the day with a shot of tequila instead of a cup of coffee... Just make a change, and we promise you gonna feel great again.
Go fish... for some compliments
Self-deprecation is hugely overrated. Fishing for compliments may not sound like the best way to feel good about yourself, but, let's be honest, compliments are like the last chocolate in the box - we all crave it, but we think it's too rude to ask for it. So, take this as a challenge. When at a party or a bar, don't be shy and compliment the guy you feel attracted to - whether it's for his smile, his shirt, his pectoralis, doesn't matter. A compliment works like a boomerang - what goes around comes around. Most probably, the sexy guy will reply with a flattering remark addressed to you. That will instantly make you feel good because you've just dared ask for the last chocolate and you got it!
What you see in the mirror is not necessarily what the others see because sexiness, dear friend, is subjective. When you get a little older, your ideas of what is considered beautiful and sexy will change and a whole new world will open up for you to explore. But don't wait too long for that to happen. Because everything has an expiration date. Even the bodies of the fitness models, believe it or not.