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Article written by Kendra Beltran

We have all been there. Last call, drunk out of our minds, and making out in the back of a rideshare with someone we shouldn’t be. It happens. Don’t be ashamed of the mistakes you made, but do hold yourself accountable and be a grown-ass adult when faced with the reality of your drunken hookup the next day. We are going to run down the drunken hookups you may or may not encounter in your life and how to handle each and every situation like an adult... because we’re not about ghosting here. Unless they were an insane person. Then, by all means, RUN.

Best Friend

Whether you have been best friends since grade school or just met and instantly fell into the BFF-zone, sleeping with your best friend can turn a relationship from great to awkward in a matter of seconds. It doesn’t matter how normal each of you tries to act after the... well, act. It’s going to be weird if you don’t face the elephant in the room right away. Do not ignore the fact that you spent a night of drunken passion together. Instead, meet for coffee. We’d say bottomless mimosas but drinks are how you became bottomless with one another in the first place. So coffee and an honest conversation are all you should need to smooth this one over.

Coworker

The fire set after sleeping with your best friend will seem like a candle’s flame compared to the one set once you’ve fucked your coworker after a happy hour went too far. That’s because you don’t know if they’re going to start running their mouth at work and then it will become everyone at the office’s business. You do not want that. With a coworker, offer to take them out on your lunch break and be real about the situation. You are both grown, had too much, and do not need to make this the topic of the week at work... because really, it is no one’s business but the two of you.

An Ex

There are so many scenarios that may lead to you winding up in bed after a bottle of tequila with your ex. We don’t even have to name them all because...again, we’ve all been there. What you need to do is call or text them the morning after and explain that you were drunk out of your mind and that while you two had a great time (obviously, it’s sex), you were wrong to use them in that way and that the next time you come at them with a 3 am, drunken, “u up?” text, that they should ignore you. It’s what’s best for them and you. Then apologize once more and wish them well.

The Undercover Crazy

If you have never encountered the Undercover Crazy at the club, then you may be one. This is the person who seems absolutely perfect when you first meet. You two vibe all night, buy one another drinks, have a great time, and bam! You get back to their place and you notice that well, serial killers probably have used the same decor. It’s not ideal but you fuck because at that hour you’re not making the best decisions in life. Once you’re done you make up some excuse to leave like your house is flooding at 5 am or your cat needs to go out for a walk. Who cares, just say whatever and get out. Remember when we said never to ghost unless it was a dire situation? That’s what this is. Fuck and run honey, fuck, and run. Then ignore. It’s not the nicest thing to do but when they cray, you gotta watch out for yourself!

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