Article written by Kendra Beltran

Everyone and their mother talks about summer lovin’ but those of us who live for sweater weather and pumpkin spice lube know all too well that Fall is where it’s at for fantastic fucking. Especially when you think of all the places you can get it in when the leaves start to change. I mean, who hasn’t gotten lost in a daydream about getting lost in an apple orchard and being fucked by the strapping country, farmhand, or taking advantage of the mysteriously lost corners of a haunted house? Keep reading on for all of our Fall fuck fantasies, and let us know which ones you agree with and which ones we’ve possibly missed.

Apple Orchard

You leave the city for a day of rural living and apple picking. You either go with your partner and sneak off to a remote location amongst all the trees and get it on. Turned on by the fact that you could be caught at any second, or you can go alone and take full advantage of the bodied-up guy who works at the orchard seasonally who’s going to ensure that this old farmer had a boner, just for you.


Hayrides usually go on at night, there are blankets involved. So while you may not get to experience a full-on fuck session you can at least feel one another up underneath the covers while everyone is distracted, whatever the hell it is you see on a hayride.

Haunted House

There are all sorts of nooks and crannies when it comes to a haunted house that you can sneak into and do what you need to do. I advise going through the house at least once before so map it out, and then when you feel like the time is right, get to your preferred locale and go at it.

The Sanderson Sister House

Okay, so we had to toss this one into the mix because who hasn’t dreamt of fucking where Bette Midler and company tried to enact pure evil on the youth of Salem? If you haven’t, you may want to get checked out because it’s a thing that everyone who’s ever seen the movie has wanted to do, right?

Pumpkin Patch

Unlike an apple orchard, filled with sprawling trees to hide any naughty activities you may want to get into, a pumpkin patch is pretty level with the ground. That doesn’t mean one, two, or hundreds of people haven’t thought about what’d it be like to get jacked off amongst the soon-to-be jack-o-lanterns.

Pile of Leaves

The thrill of the crunch of a leaf underneath your feet. Amazing, right? Now imagine how much crunch you’ll feel when rolling around naked in a freshly raked pile of red, yellow, and orange leaves? Talk about a beautiful sexual aesthetic!

Theme Park

During the fall many theme parks have some sort of spooktacular makeover, and having sex on a ride at one of those during this time of year? Excilliterating to say the least! This is sort of a sexual fantasy all year round, but when you add all the haunted theatrics theme parks do during this time of year, it elevates it.

Scenic Drive

You could pretty much fuck in your car any time of the year, but is there a backdrop as scenic as the fall foliage right outside the windows that you’re going to be fogging up as you fuck to your heart’s content?

Fall Wedding

If you are invited to a wedding and it’s in the fall, the decor is fall...the couple is just begging you to get all up in your feels. So it’s their fault that you’re going to want to have sex in the bathroom during their reception, right?