Flatten The Curve By Jerking Off
Article written by Kendra Beltran
Now, more than ever, it is time to do your part to help stop the spread of COVID-19 by not only staying in but handling your dick all on your own. Yes, we are talking about the beauty of masturbating during these strange, wild, crazy times.
Once upon a time, we were a generation built on technology and hooking up. More and more people every day were finding not only the person they would eventually marry (me!) but also the person (or persons) they would spend a random Wednesday night with. Well, that has all but come to a screeching halt due to the global pandemic we are currently experiencing. All you good citizens who have hung up your hoe ways for now - we thank you for your service. You others who are still taking a chance for a piece of ass, what is wrong with you?
When you break the social distance code for some dick, you not only put one another in danger but also those you live with. Say you meet someone on a dating app, they claim to have absolutely no symptoms, so you go over to their place and hookup. It lasts no longer than an hour or so and then you head back to your place. You not only were you definitely within six feet of them, but you swapped spit and more. Even if they (or you) had no symptoms, you can still have coronavirus. If you didn’t know that, now you do. So do not believe some fuckboy when he says he’s 100% okay right now because you just can’t be too sure.
If either of you had it and did not know, you would then go on to spread it, unknowingly, to those around you or when you head out to get actual essentials. When you think about that, is it really worth it in the end? So if you find yourself trying to hookup in real life right now, stop. It’s definitely okay to continue matching with people on those apps. You just have to go about meeting up via text, phone, DMs, or video and partake in good old masturbation.
In case you do not think those are viable options, think about all the long-distance couples who have been utilizing them since forever. Back in the olden times' people wrote erotic letters and had to wait weeks, even months, for a response. Now you can just slide into a DM, hit them up for a Skype session, or give them a call and get down and dirty while keeping your distance and keeping the rest of the world safe.
Now, while there are so many ways we can help flatten the curve right now and stop the spread of the coronavirus, staying home and masturbating is one of them. You do not have to have contact with anyone to partake in it, and it eliminates you heading out and hooking up with random people who may or may not have the virus. Because right now is not the time to take chances for sex. It is about being smart and taking care of your own essentials right now, for the greater good.
Please do not act like you’re a stranger to jerking off either. No one goes that long without doing it, we are just telling you that now is the time to do it more often than not to discourage any thought in your head about hooking up because it is just not that necessary right now and is far from an essential. So think twice before you hookup right now, and keep it to yourself and just do your community and country proud by jerking off from the safety of your own home!