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Article written by Maya Vukovska
Have you already seen the 2018 LGBTQ rom com Analysis Paralysis? If not, here’s a spoiler for you: After visiting a therapist, young gay writer Tyler discovers that he suffers from anxiety disorder called “Analysis Paralysis”. Overthinking each situation causes his decision-making to become “paralyzed” and this has a disastrous effect on his love life. This fictional plot may seem like the perfect generator for hilarious situations, but in reality, the condition can bring a lot of annoying inconveniences in one’s everyday life. Especially when it comes to starting a romance with the man of your dreams… If you feel paralyzed by all the “what ifs” in a potential relationship, you too might be suffering from Tyler’s anxiety disorder, and this is probably the reason why you’re still single. If that’s the case, here are some tips how to stop Analysis Paralysis from ruining your love life.
Say, you were in a car accident and got injured. It’s totally understandable why you’d be terrified next time you get into a car. Bad experience impacts our decision-making about the future. You believe that whatever happened in the past would happen again if you keep following the same pattern of behavior. If this is the thought that keeps you from getting involved with a new lover, then just remember what the Greek philosopher Heraclitus once said, “You cannot step into the same river twice.”
We know what scares you the most. You start imagining your first date with this gorgeous guy you met at the gym, and in your head, there’s always something terrible or embarrassing that happens robbing you of the opportunity to be intimate with him. Like letting a fart go while making out. A disaster? Can be. But most probably, no. Striving for perfection has never been the key to a healthy relationship. If a guy walks away just because you farted, then he’s a pretentious prick , who’s not worth of your attention. Trying to have the perfect date is not only exhausting, it’s a waste of time.
You may be drowning in the ocean of overgeneralization, but have you ever thought about how the object of your interest feels about you, your relationship, and the Universe as a whole? You are so obsessed with the possible negative outcomes, that you forget to live NOW. What your man sees, however, is inaction. And the way he interprets it is as an absence of affection and interest in him. Sooner or later, you reach the point where you think that this relationship is doomed to fall into pieces, so why bother anyway. And he thinks you’re not really into him. What you need to do is get out of your own head, be brave and talk to him about the way you feel. Nobody is going to be hit by a meteorite if you do so, we promise!
It’s like telling a friend to order the food he/she knows you’d enjoy. Of course, putting your happiness into somebody else’s hands bears a certain risk factor, but if you let them weigh up all the pros and cons for you, you will find making the decision a lot easier. So, if a close friend or a relative tells you, “Ask Jonah out, or I swear to God, I’m gonna be kicking your ass from here to Albuquerque!”, you’d better listen to them!
It must be a living hell not be able to do a single thing on a whim. Like breaking into a tap dance in the subway. Or ordering a meal in a restaurant you’ve never tasted before. Or, God forbid, calling that cute boy from 5B you’ve had a crush on since forever. Yes, overthinking makes you less happy, and, obviously, less sexually active, so it’s high time you did something about it. The thing is that when you put a limit on your dating life just because you see no point in taking new risks, sooner or later, the paralysis will spread into your work and into your whole life. If it hasn’t already!
And if you still struggle, then definitely check out the film Anaylsis Paralysis, available here:Previous Next
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