How to Deal with a Sexual Dry Spell

Article written by Maya Vukovska

Due to the coronavirus, sex has become a chimera for many singles. But it doesn’t take a global pandemic to go through a long period without having sex. Various circumstances can lead to sexual abstinence - stress, certain medical conditions, the boredom of settling the urge with a quick tap on a dating app… Another reason can be a rather recent breakup. If you still miss your ex, and you can’t stop comparing him to everyone else, it’s feels awkward to start draining someone else’s pipe. But when you are used to regular fuck, even a three-month dry spell can blow your mind and your balls. Whatever the reason for your long-term sexual sobriety is, we can help you survive without going loco.

Rewire your mind

The most dedicated adherents of certain religious denominations practice celibacy until they get married. Monks, especially Buddhists, see celibacy as a prerequisite for achieving enlightenment. We, as simple mortals, are wondering how come a person takes the conscious decision to spend years abstaining from one of the greatest pleasures in life. But the monks have the answer. One possible advice these holy men can give a person with predatory libido is to acknowledge the desire and not fight it. Because the more you’re trying to push it out of your mind, the more persistent and stronger it grows. Instead, channel your unused sexual energy into creative projects you’ve been putting off for a long time. The result will be surprising.
Yes, it’s easier said than done, and yes, taming the libido is not a single event, but a process. That’s why you need to make changes in your thinking and your daily behavior in order to produce results.

With time, sex can become more of a routine, a pastime activity one’s used to, than an actual need. Probably, that’s your case, too. It’s not that you want to fuck that much, it’s rather the idea of fucking that turns your current celibate status into an agony. So, next time you feel the urge to jump all over the sexy guy you’ve been ogling at the gym, ask yourself whether you REALLY want him, or it’s the fantasy of him that is making you think crazy thoughts. Here’s a useful psychological exercise: Imagine that all those hot men with sun-kissed bodies out there are just a fast-food chain commercial: you see a big, juicy cheeseburger on the billboard, but what you get at the drive-thru is total crap.

Keep a body close

This may sound strange and unorthodox, but finding a person you can be intimate with, but without the sexual part, can be a great coping mechanism for dealing with your problem. Missing sex is not always about missing a dick inside you. It’s about the physical connection. It is about touching and, why not, spooning. If you happen to have a close friend who’s willing to share your bed or couch with you for non-sexual purposes, don’t hesitate to hold him in your arms and cuddle. A woody now and then will be a completely normal occurrence, but it’s important that you never go to the next level. You are friends after all, and you’ll be risking to ruin that if you yield to the bodily impulse. Remember: it’s not the sex, but the mere physical contact with another human being that can make all the difference in the world.

Don’t let your sexual frustration snowball into just frustration

Some people ignored their horniness for an entire year to help slow the spread of the virus. During a pandemic, having sex with yourself is definitely the most recommendable option. Masturbation has proven to be not only the safest but also the only viable option when one’s sex life has been put on hold. Jerking off will get you out of your head and into your body. Besides, it offers a whole menu of mental-health benefits thanks to the neurotransmitters - oxytocin and serotonin. Self-pleasure can also reduce stress and anxiety, and uplift your mood.

The bottom line is: While waiting for the dry spell to end, shower yourself with positive thoughts, pleasurable companionship, and a lot of self-made orgasms.