How to Handle Your Partner’s Humongous Dick

Article written by Maya Vukovska

How small is too small? How big is big enough? And how big is too big? When it comes to sex and penis size, these questions are important to both men and women. Many people would politely claim that it’s not the size that matters, but what you do with the thing. And yet, personal fantasies and popular porn culture massively feature hung-up guys, who fuck as hell and leave their bottoming partners almost lifeless and very much sore in the area down there. But what if it happens in real life? What if your newly baked’s been blessed by Mother Nature with a deluxe, all-conquering, fearful, life-altering, sex-redefining, king-size dick?

Lube is up. A lot!

There’s no way we can put it more delicately but it is going to hurt. After all, you have a natural human-size anus and not an opening resembling the Arizona Big Crack! You’re already familiar with the procedure if you’ve had anal sex before, only this time it’s gonna be more challenging because of the size of the instrument. If you’re caught unprepared for sex, i.e. without a lubricant at hand, you can always improvise. Just remember the infamous sex scene in “Last Tango in Paris”, where Marlon Brando uses a stick of butter before getting in through the back door of Maria Schneider’s character. The anus is not self-lubricating, and if you let your hung-as-a-horse man penetrate you without having applying anal lube of some sort beforehand, you’re gonna regret it.

Prep your ass

And we don’t mean by reading the Bible or singling lullabies to it! Before allowing anything bigger than a Colombian banana bore through your butthole, ask your partner to use his other ‘drilling tools.’ Fingers can do a better job than tongue in this case because the aim is not just to pleasure the anus but to get it ready for real action. Make him insert one finger first, and then ad one or two more into your asshole so that it could open up. You can continue the exercise with a sex toy to further stimulate the anus. If your partner becomes impatient, tell him that not every day your ass harbors a ballistic missile submarine, so he must show (or at least fake) empathy about the situation you are in.

Not every position is a good position

If your partner is into deep penetration, he may certainly cause some damage if he fucks you in a doggy style. Being on top of him, however, will enable you to choose your own rhythm and, what’s more important, have control of how deep you want him to go. But if you are willing to take it all, lie on your back and tuck your knees into your chess (let’s hope there’s no beer belly in the way!) Keep in mind that during a deep ass drilling, you might feel the irresistible urge to pee. This, however, is a false sensation caused by your partner's big dick pounding on your bladder. To avoid this discomfort try changing the angle of penetration.

Master your breath

Learning how to breathe correctly helps not only with anxiety and stress. Mastering deep breathing techniques also helps when struggling with someone’s oversize dick inside you. When you breathe from your belly, it calms you down, relaxes your anal muscles, and causes your butt to open more. We don’t know whether the Shaolin monks practice anal sex or any sex at all, but what we do know is that the guys are professionals in deep breathing, so you can definitely learn a thing or two from them.

Too big to be sucked?

Your well-endowed guy prefers oral to penetration. It may sound like the smaller problem But again you can see how his gargantuan dick presents a problem. It’s impossible to swallow it whole - you can hardly fit the head in your mouth, let alone the rest of it. After all, you don’t have a throat of a giraffe! So what to do? One solution is to put your hands in play. And think of them as an extension of your ass because that’s the impression you‘ll have to deliver. While you’re pleasuring the dick's tip with your mouth, use your hands to rub the rod. Try to synchronize the rhythm between your hands and your mouth, so that for your partner it feels as if his cock is sliding in and out of a tube. The effect will be exploding!

Fun fact

The man who is believed to have the largest penis in the world, Roberto Esquivel Cabrera, had to register himself as disabled because the size of his penis (18.9 inches!) has made him unfit to work. The moral is: Do not envy the guys with gigantic dicks because life is far from a continuous porn movie for them. But if you happen to have a boyfriend with a big manhood, do your best to make him no less desirable than an other partner with a manageable dick you’ve had before.