When dating a much younger or much older guy, you’re likely to receive a mixed response, so being a ‘gentleman of a certain age’ myself I thought I’d take a look at the pros and cons of generational age gaps.
To begin with, when you first introduce a new lover to friends, have you ever noticed how they always tell you how cute/hot/sweet he is? In fact they fall over themselves to compliment you on your choice, making sure you know how suited they think you are, and how much they like him, when what they’re really thinking is – OMG, he’s so young!
Next comes the justification stage, and you will hear anything from the cliched platitudes; Of course it’s cool! Love is love! Age is just a number! It shouldn’t matter how many years there are between you, so long as you’re happy! You may even receive the odd ribbing – the slap on the back, accompanied by a leary comment along the lines of, ‘You’ve done well for yourself there, mate!’ Accompanied by a grubby little chuckle. What they’re really thinking here is I wonder what the sex is like? And, How could an ugly old bugger like him nab someone as hot and young as that?
Finally of course, when you split, the truth comes out, and you hear what they really thought the entire time. Oh but he was so young/immature/naïve! It was never going to last with such
a huge age gap! And the best one - He was only after your money! What ever happened to‘Love is Love?’ You tell yourself that they were just jealous, but it hurts all the same. Some of course will be brutally honest and tell you from the start what a silly old fool you’ve been, but thankfully those are few and far between.
Seriously though, there is a lot to be said for age-gap relationships. Nowadays we hear the phrase ‘50 is the new 30’ bandied about regularly and to a large degree this is true. At 50, thanks to fitness regimes, healthy eating and advances in medicines and anti-aging procedures, some of us are looking, feeling and acting far younger than our years. Couple this youthful vibrancy with the added advantage of experience and world knowledge, and it’s not hard to imagine why a 20-something lad would find this attractive. When you introduce financial security into the equation, the odds really begin to stack in your favour. Naturally, it’s not about the money, but at 25 or so, given the choice of dining Michelin star, or Denny’s, I know which one I’d have chosen!
There is also still an issue amongst gay circles of the societal double standard. It is universally accepted in western culture that heterosexual men have been leaving their wives and families when in their 40’s and 50’s, in favour of a younger, hotter model for years, and this is flippantly passed off as a mid-life crisis! If it’s what they want, why shouldn’t gay men be afforded the same latitude in trading in their aging, boring partner in favour of a pretty
young thing who will bring him pleasure and joy in his golden years? Why is there a different set of rules and values for the homosexual community? Why are gay men so much more judgmental than their straight counterparts?
Frankly, gay relationships in general are a lot less complicated to terminate, owing to the absence of children, although this is changing now too, with the legislation of same sex adoption, but that’s another story. Why shouldn’t we too be entitled to our ‘midlife crisis!’
From the younger guys perspective, exposure to social media and the internet, increased ease of travel, and a much more liberal set of values over the past 30 years have meant that younger guys mature far quicker than perhaps we did in the 70’s and 80’s, meaning intelligent lads in their 20’s are far more able to converse and add considered opinions to a wide range of topics, bridging the generation gap considerably. Add to this the experience of an older partner who is able to challenge them intellectually, has the knowledge of life’s luxuries, a wealth of contacts to assist in introductions for business, and still has the sexual prowess and toned body of a 30 year old, and what’s not to like!
Finally though, it comes down to personal preference, and sometimes there is neither rhyme nor reason why two people click, and frankly, it’s none of our business. The main fundamentals of any relationship should be strong. Physical attraction, no matter what
anyone says, is a major factor. Love and trust are the foundation. Similar intellect, views, and social values are important. Interests in common, I think help, but all that aside, so long as it’s legal and consensual, we’re all entitled to date/fuck/marry whoever we like, whatever their age, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
-article by Cameron Yorke