Is age really just a number? Or is it actually an extremely important number that can determine your level of success in the dating world? We like to believe that the former is true, but in fact, recent surveys from AARP have shown that the majority of gay men over 45 are single. And this figure differs starkly from hetero men and people of other sexualites in the same demographic. So does this mean we really are ageist when it comes to dating?
Let’s start with the obvious elephant in the room. Sure, certain facets of gay culture place a ton of emphasis on youth, with GRINDR perhaps being the worst perpetrator. I’m sure we’ve all heard the comical axiom of, ‘there’s two ages for gay men: 29 and old.’ A lot of guys on GRINDR will only be interested in a fling if you’re still carrying that halcyon twinkle of youthful naivety in your eye.
It may just be time to accept that GRINDR is largely a young man’s game, but there’s not necessarily anything wrong with that. Every app has its own culture, and we’re beginning to see more diverse apps, like Scruff, that seem to cater to men of all ages.
So while it’s true that a lot gays worship at the base of the Fountain of Youth, there are arguably an equal number who downright fetish older guys. Daddies, as they’re often lovingly referred to, are men who are hot exactly for the reasons which, to others, are a turn-off. Maturity, experience, wisdom, and a grizzled manly bod are hot to some, but anathema to others. It all comes down to a matter of taste.
As time goes by, we’re beginning to see more stodgy taboos disappear, and it seems like ageism in dating is headed in that direction as well. Not pursuing a potential partner because he’s too old (or even too young) is simply an outmoded way of thinking. Love doesn’t have an age limit. If you two of you are compatible, then who cares what your ages are? Remember that time heals all things, especially scrappy young dudes who think they’re too good to date older guys. ;)