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Article by: Maya Vukovska

In Western culture, any unauthorized sexual contact is considered to be cheating to a partner. As I see it, that’s the broadest possible definition. On a more personal level, it presupposes that if your significant other authorizes anything from a kiss on a cheek to licking someone’s balls or full blown sex then nothing is cheating. So, in order to answer the fundamental question “Is oral sex considered cheating?” one needs to assess the situation from both their own and their partner’s perspective, and see if the two opinions overlap, or not. And it’s always complicated, no matter whether an opposite-sex or a same-sex relationship is concerned.

You come home one evening, take off your coat, and kiss your guy who’s cooking carbonara pasta. He asks how your day was, and you say, “Oh, you know, same old, same old. This bitch, my boss, put my project on hold again, had a latte in the lunch break with Sue from Accounting, went to the gym after work, and then dropped by that small gourmet food store to get your favorite pastrami. Ah, and by the way, I let the boy who sold me the pastrami suck my dick in the storage room. And how was your day, hon?”

If you were the carbonara guy how would you react to this? Scream your lungs off and immediately kick the boyfriend out? Or ask him in a calm tone, “Oh, really? He cute? Did he swallow?”

Reacting either way to what seems to be a single episode is, however, a bland simplification of a more complex occurring. How the hell are you supposed to decide whether receiving a BJ counts as cheating? No worries, I am here to help you make up your mind on what side of the dilemma to stand.

The Good Samaritan Excuse.

You are aware that one of your colleagues, is having a huge crush on you. A window of opportunity wide opens when you two attend this business thing, and you find yourself in his hotel room for after-dinner drinks. Your beautiful hard dick is looking at him, and he is very horny, and you see that, and can’t but empathize with his cravings. One thing leads to another, and you let him give you the most delicious blowjob. It’s not that now you’re head over heels in love with the guy, no way. But after all, you’re not a monster! You ARE a good person, and you are ready to help a fellow gentleman in distress.

The “It’s Just a Physical Thing” Imperative.

Men, and I mean ALL men, tend to deflect blame when it comes to absolving their own horniness with “the physical needs of their nature”. Whenever these needs start kicking from inside the balls, it’s time to release the pressure, and… deliver. Men will turn to whoever is available at the moment. A helping mouth is just a mouth after all, no matter whether it belongs to the face of the boyfriend or the guy in the gym locker room.

The “It Is Not Cheating If You Have Your Socks On” Postulation.

The good thing about this postulation is that it can be applied to any scenario that doesn’t require full nakedness. Which means literally in 99. 9% of the cases! All you need for a nice and satisfying blowie is a good positioning and a quick access to your fly.

The “If He’s Received a BJ from a Random Guy Then I Am Allowed Too” Theorem.

If you and your partner are exclusive, blowies shouldn’t be part of the deal. However, catching him at least once with his penis in someone else’s mouth is probably the most legitimate excuse for you to also have your fair share of BJ’s. If afterward your beau dares to blame you for cheating on him, you can always play the "you’ve-done-it-too card." It always works. No hard feelings, just getting even, pumpkin!

The “Hall Pass” Alternative.

Let’s say you’re in an open, more or less unconventional relationship, in which both parts have given each other a “hall pass” to go do it whenever they feel like it. Fair and square. In this case scenario, it’s completely up to you whether you take advantage of the pass, or no. When an opportunity for an occasional oral presents itself, and nothing limits you within the boundaries of a strictly monogamous relationship, you ask your own conscience how to proceed.

The “Only Emotional Cheating Is Real Cheating” Hypothesis.

Let’s be honest here. Only the most naïve of us believe in this sh*t. But funny enough, it works for many. Instead of stuffing themselves with cherry cheesecakes after a cheating crisis, some DO prefer the consolation of this deceptive mantra.

The “Don’t Even Think About It” Paradigm.

Whether you’re sexting someone or flirting with the bearded bartender, or friendly jerking the pizza delivery guy’s cock it doesn’t matter. EVERY-THING’s cheating! Full stop.

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