Mastering Vibes in the Bedroom

Article written by Rahmel Reid

Have you ever walked into someone’s apartment for a hook-up and thought to yourself “yup, this is how it’s all going to end for me”. The lights are off, it’s dead quiet, you don’t see anyone — there’s just an overall eerie feeling in the air. Then a random voice shouts “Hey, I’m in here”. And guess what? I’m out of here. This ain’t it! Whether it’s an anonymous, no-strings-attached type of hook-up, a regular fuck buddy or someone you’re dating — you absolutely have to set some sort of mood. I’m not saying to go all out for each and every encounter, but it literally takes 10 seconds to throw on a damn Spotify playlist. So for those that aren’t into an eerie hook-up that’s straight out of a gay Stephen King novel, here are some tips to mastering the sex vibes in the bedroom.

TIDY UP

Look, I know life gets busy and sometimes maintaining your apartment or bedroom just isn’t a top priority. We all have the one chair or side of the bed that’s designated for unfolded laundry. Sometimes the fast food take-out containers may not make it to the trash can for a day or two. But if you’ve invited a guy over for some fun… you have to tidy up a bit. Don’t just clean your ass, clean your apartment too! First impressions are everything, even if you know the guy. The first impression he gets when he walks into your space shouldn’t force him to have a look of disgust on his face. I recommend at least tidying up the entrance way, the bathroom and your bedroom!

AROMA

Some people are into that after gym, man-scent. It turns them on to suck a sweaty dick or to eat and fuck some ripe booty. But what I’ve never heard anyone say is that they want to fuck in a stink ass bedroom. The only reason why anyone should be gagging in the bedroom is because there’s a dick down their throat that’s knocking against their windpipe. It should never be because of the odor emanating from your funky ass carpet or dirty laundry. Don’t even get me started on that bathroom. You need to invest in some aromatherapy diffusers, some Febreze and scented candles. Candles especially, whether it’s a quick pump and dump or a long passionate session, there’s nothing hotter (in my opinion) than fucking with some candles burning away. And those candles better be the only thing up in that room that’s burning, okay.

MUSIC

I once went to fuck a guy and he had the show “Friends” on in the background and I legit recited every word of the episode, it was so distracting that I couldn’t even enjoy the booty. If you’re going to have something on, it should at least be porn. But I think a music playlist is so much better to fuck to. It creates a better vibe, there’s rhythm that lends itself to building that chemistry and sensuality. You can throw on your favorite artist or pick from one of the thousands of already curated playlists on these music apps. The key here though is to not have the volume at an obnoxiously loud level. Have you ever seen one of those amateur porn videos where the music is blasting so loud that you can’t even get through it? Yeah, don’t be like them. The music should be at a low to medium volume that isn’t too distracting. After all, you want to be able to hear him when he’s calling you “Daddy” mid stroke, don’t you?

BE A HOST

I’m not asking you to provide Waldorf Astoria like accommodations — but I am asking you to provide the bare minimum. If you are inviting someone over to your home, you need to be a host to some degree. In the past, I’ve gone to hook-up with someone or spend the night at someone’s place and they don’t have a damn thing to offer you to make you feel comfortable. Why do you only have one towel? You don’t even enough toilet tissue to get one solid wipe of the ass. Where’s the hand soap? Bitch why don’t you have any toothpaste? Before you invite someone over, ask yourself — do you have basic accommodations for your guest? Do you have lube and/or condoms? Even if it’s a quick fuck - do you have wet wipes or an extra hand towel that he can use to clean himself after? Why do I have to use the same towel that you’ve ran between the crack of your ass all week, on my face? Madness. Is the bathroom stocked with basic and essential things that he may need? But also bitch, the things that you need! Get it together.

A little consideration goes a long way. You want to make the guy that’s about to fuck you comfortable, so that he can do what he came to do. Breed you. But he may not want to do that if he notices that you’ve put no effort into creating a vibe for the two of you.