Premature Ejaculator? Here’s 5 Depressing Reminders to Help Prevent Your Orgasm
We all know that a premature orgasm can more or less ruin your evening. Whether you’re cumming too early and can’t give your bottom the pounding he longs for or the other way around, premature ejaculation can be a big problem for a lot of guys. We’ve written previously on this blog about how to stay hard, but the opposite can sometimes be even more of a challenge. So much of what causes the orgasm is psychological. By this line of thinking, one of the best tactics for successful restraint is the mind-over-matter approach. You probably already do it instinctively, to an extent: conjuring images of the unpleasant, unattractive, and otherwise anathematic to orgasm. But racking your brain for grotesqueries in the moment can be tough. Lucky you for, we’ve compiled 6 crushing reminders of depressing truths to help prevent your orgasm, if not ruin your day altogether.
1. Over a billion children are living in poverty in the world
When establishing a somber mood with intent of nullifying your impending orgasm, it’s good to begin with a sense of large-scale global tragedy. If you feel yourself about to cum, just really meditate on those billion kids living on less than two dollars a day. Pretty depressing, huh? While you brain is focusing on how sad that is, it can't focus on the sex you're having.
2. Miami will be underwater in a hundred years
If radical changes are not implemented in our society soon, then runaway greenhouse gas warming effects will cause sea levels to rise enough that the entire city of Miami will be underwater. Your grand-kids will learn of Miami and Atlantis in one breath as two lost cities under the ocean. Kinda cool, but also extremely depressing.
3. Liza Minnelli is getting old
Listen, I’m not trying to be an alarmist here, but she getting kinda old here guys. People don't live forever. Don't get me wrong, Liza Minnelli is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs. But man, she’s getting up there in years. I’m just saying she’s getting old. Makes me nervous.
4. After his owner's death, a Japanese dog named Hachikō somberly waited nine years at the same spot for him, until he himself passed away
In 1920s Japan, everyday Hachiko’s owner arrived back from work at Shibuya Station in Japan, where Hachiko would lovingly run up and great him and walk home together. But after his owner died of a cerebral hemorrhage, the dog still went to the station everyday for nine years waiting for his owner, who alas never returned. If you can read this historical anecdote of grief, loyalty and innocence and STILL blast your load, then your premature ejaculation problem really runs deep.
5. The universe is a vast, uncompassionate place and free will is probably a lie
If things are getting too hot and heavy and you feel an orgasm about to explode, just simply pause to acknowledge that the universe is cold, empty and has no stake in your happiness. So too, the deterministic properties of physics suggest heavily that you have no free will and are doomed to perform the role which fate has written for you. However, you may take solace in the fact that by accepting the existential void that is your life, you may then change it. Embody the crushing gravitas of the world’s woes, and you’re GUARANTEED to last longer in bed. ;)