Quarantine Hobbies That Will Get You Laid Later
Article written by Kendra Beltran
As of today, most of the world is still staying safe at home while the pandemic rolls on. Except for a few countries whose leaders managed to handle things the right way - damn you Australians and your ‘Chromatica’ dance parties! But we can’t be bitter, we can only be better. Better meaning that we need to up our quarantine hobby game in a way that will benefit us later...sexually. Yes, it’s time to take a look at some quarantine hobbies that you can do now that will lead to you getting laid a lot more later.
The Bread Phase of the pandemic was so last year, but honey like all classic trends - it’s coming back around. So whether you get yourself a cookbook or subscribe to a baker’s blog, it’s time to get that apron out and get baking. That’s because we all know just how much a delightful dessert can catch the eye, stomach, and eventual dick of a hot piece of ass. I mean, who doesn’t love a little sugar in their life?
Some may say that exercise during quarantine is to stay slim and fit and yes, that’s some people’s goal. However, as Elle Woods noted, exercise releases endorphins, and endorphins make you happy. This pandemic has left more than a few people feeling less than in their mental department, and when you feel like shit in your head - you are less likely to want to be around people or have them be around you. Which in turn makes fucking a little hard. So getting your sweat on could improve your mood, resulting in your approaching life (and potential hookups) with a more positive attitude.
Sitting on the couch watching the same five shows for over a year cannot be good for your body. When you do get back out in the world and on the road to fucking, you’re going to be as stiff as a board...and not in a good way. Try to incorporate some yoga stretching into your daily routine to keep yourself limber enough for all the crazy moves you’re about to get down with once you can.
It is one thing to be able to shake and move around the dancefloor at the club, but you up your game by 100% when you are a choreographed dream. YouTube is full of instructional videos that can teach you just about every move from every music video that has ever been released. So when you can have your own ‘Chromatica’ dance party, all eyes will be on you when you bust out your perfect “Rain on Me” routine. You’ll impress everyone so much, you’ll be rolling in potential partners by the end of the first verse.
I don’t know about you, but one of the biggest turn-offs when it comes to online dating and eventually texting someone before you meet up is bad grammar. Don’t fall victim to that. Get yourself a journal and practice not only your grammar but also your imagination. Because lemme tell ya, it’s not hot to sext with someone who comes at you with the most basic lines on earth.
Learning a Foreign Language
Traveling isn’t something we’re all jumping at the chance to do right now as airplanes are not the cleanest areas on earth to be stuck in with strangers. So take this time to get your Rosetta Stone on! That way when you can resume filling up your passport, you can head to a new location with the native language down! Not only will you be able to get around with ease, but you’ll be able to flirt with the locals and up your international hookup game but A LOT.