Once upon a midnight blandly, while I spanked it, hot and randy,
Over many a weary, worn-out volume of hairy porn—
Climax nearing, eagerly fapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“’Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door—
Only this and nothing more.”
Open I flung the entryway, when, with a stride identifiably gay,
In stepped a fully shaven boy, glabrous, and clad like a whore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute paused nor foreplayed he;
But, with mien of an incubus, sat down on my chamber bed—
A pretty sight, far more so than those bears in my porn of yore—
He silently smirked, and nothing more.
“Cocktease!” said I, “thing of evil!—cocktease still, if boy or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us—by that God we both adore—
Tell this soul with arousal laden if you plan on getting laid here,
Your nubile, hairless cock can save me from this porn I deplore—
Did ye truly enter my bedchamber with no intent to score?”
Quoth the shaven “Nevermore.”