Re-Zoning, or How to Move Someone From the Friend Zone Into the Lover Zone
Article written by Maya Vukovska
You’ve always fancied him. But you won’t dare even to dream about crossing that invisible barrier separating friendship and sex. It could be because you place great value on your relationship as it is now - platonic, yet solid as a rock. Or because you’re scared to make the move. What if he rejects you, and after the failed attempt to change the nature of your relationship status, he wants to hang around with you no more? Yes, it’s more than challenging to make your friend your boyfriend. But there certainly are ways to break out of the friendship zone where you’ve been stuck for too long.
Ask yourself some questions
The first step is to understand how the friend zone functions. Because once you get to know the mechanism, you’ll be able to figure out how to configure it to your own liking. To start with, ask yourself how you ended up in the friend zone instead of his bed. One of the reasons can be that you don’t have the know-how. Or simply because you are too nice and/or shy and you don’t want to impose yourself. But you also have to see the situation from his angle, because it’s highly probable that his mind isn’t open to anything more right now. But with patience and good strategy this can change…
Do NOT get clingy
Once you’ve decided to be bold and fight for your love interest, it’s absolutely vital that you don’t be all over him all of a sudden. This swift change of your attitude may freak him out. Instead of showing your needy and suffocating Mr. Hyde personality, be completely the opposite - a self-controlled and relaxed Dr. Jekyll, who is just fine on his own, but would also love to have a roll in the hay with him. Just give your friend a subtle hint that you are looking for something more in your relationship, and leave it there. This move will guarantee you his attention.
Call him by his name
Between yourselves, you call each other “girl” or whatever. First of all, just like ‘buddy’, ‘pal’, ‘dude’, ‘dawg’, and ‘punk’, the nicknames you’re using belong to the friend zone you so desperately want to leave. Forget about them! They may be accommodating and all, but they sound too impersonal and can’t make anybody’s heart race. Use his full first name, no matter how uncomfortably long it is - Nathaniel, Alexander, or Sawyer Ford.
Change your routine
You usually meet on Saturday nights in bars and clubs where you mingle with other gay friends and acquaintances. Occasionally, you have drinks, go to the movies, and play squash. If you want to have something more with your friend beside cocktails and conversations about sitcoms and the weather, then you should create a moment for intimacy and romance. Suggest that you take a trip together, only the two of you. Leaving your familiar environment will provide the perfect opportunity to see each other in a different light. And without clothes, hopefully.
Let your hands do the job
Changing your image fundamentally is not what you should be heading for. Subtle changes in your behavior, though, are a must. Touch your friend whenever the situation allows it. Ruffle his hair, lean on his shoulder when getting up from the chair, brush a non-existent eye-lash from his cheek… He should be able to sense that your attitude towards him has changed, and if he’s on the same wavelength as you, eventually he’ll open up and literally embrace your new you.
Flirt with other guys
This advice may sound strange and completely irrelevant given the topic of discussion, but it’s, in fact, an excellent strategic move. Have you thought that maybe your friend doesn’t see you as a boyfriend or lover material because he’s never seen you in your seductive mode? That’s why, you should play the field a bit, show him that you’re interested in other men. And, unlike him, these men are not the type you want to befriend.
What if…
What if he’s taken? Well, that’s a tough one, and yet, not the end of the world situation. What we recommend in such case is to patiently wait for your turn. Keep the positive attitude and convince yourself that their relationship sooner or later will unravel. And when it happens, your friend will turn to you for comfort and support. And that, my friend, will be your star moment.
