Sharing is Caring: Why Being Vers May Be the Key to Maintaining a Healthy Relationship
Article written by Rahmel Reid
We’ve all attended some sort of gay function (or maybe you’ve seen images of the set up floating around on social media), where you go to pour yourself a drink and you’re confronted by an assortment of colored solo cups. There are stacks of cups, organized by color, each representing a different sexual position. From “insatiable sub bottom” to “total dom top”, and everything in between. At this point, I usually ask the host for glass stemware because it’s none of your business! I came to play Heads Up, the one on the phone, that’s it! But in all seriousness, sexual positions within the community have become such a conundrum, almost a reflection of your identity and a determining factor as to what sort of personality you should have.
A recent study done in the Archives of Sexual Behavior discovered that 50% of gay and bisexual men identify as fully versatile. I truly believe that the men surveyed for this study were lying, because of gay society and how we at times can shame bottoms and vers men. I think there are way more vers men out there but they’re afraid to admit it. Present a big, thick, pretty dick — and I promise you every top’s mouth will start salivating and their hole will start throbbing. But there has to be something to this study, why is half of the community happily admitting to sexually being versatile?
The fact of the matter is, who doesn’t want the best of both worlds? Yes there are insatiable bottoms out there, but even every once in a blue moon they desire to have their dick sucked. And as for the total tops, don’t knock it until you try it (which is usually the case, I mean have you seen the sexual behavior patterns from these “top” amateur content creators from when they’ve first started, to where they are now?), no shade at all. But it’s just the reality of the (gay) world we live in.
The truth is, some days you feel like a top and some days you crave a fat dick splitting you in half. The rest of the days are reserved for frotting. If we could shake the societal judgments, we’d learn that being vers is the key to making every sort of situation thrive. Everything from your discreet gym buddy fuck, you know — the guy whose name you don’t even know but you see him every other day at the gym during lunch hours and after your workout, the two of you frolic in the sauna or in the last gym shower stall (specifically the last one on the left), to friends with benefits. But most importantly (in my opinion) long term relationships.
And that doesn’t solely mean being vers when it comes to penetration. It’s more of a vers mentality, in every sense of the word. I think that gays today have more of a desire to experience pleasure in many different ways. Sexual positions aren’t monoliths. You can still identify as whatever you want but meeting the sexual needs and desires of someone else is just as important as having yours met. To me, that’s being vers. If you’re in a long term relationship specifically, your curiosity or urges will peak. That’s normal. Just because you entered the relationship one way, doesn’t mean you have to assume that role for the entire duration of that relationship. Being vers allows you to make one another happy sexually, whether it’s on a consistent basis or every once in a while. You scratch my back I’ll scratch yours. You lick my ass, I’ll lick yours! You know, the way it was intended to be. And I’m not going to be the only one douching in the motherfucker, you’re gonna clean yo’ ass out too and then bend over. Sharing (sexual duties) is caring. And trust me, what your partner isn’t getting from you - he’ll surely go out and get it from someone else.
