“Summer Penis” Is Apparently a Real Thing

The warmth and sunshine of summer are usually accompanied by some desire to get our bodies in shape. Suns out, guns out--so we have to put in the time to get in shape. But scientists have recently let us in on a secret: penises just naturally get bigger during the summertime. Yep, for reasons that are not immediately obvious, cocks--all cocks--just get bigger in the warmer months. But why? And how do we harness this summer penis energy throughout the rest of the year? We all intuitively understand the dynamics of showing and growing. Cold water is the enemy of massive, throbbing erections. Likewise, in a sauna, a penis can get coaxed more easily into peeking its head out. It’s this same principle that breathes life into the phenomenon of summer penis. During the cold of the winter, your penis has a biological impulse to creep up into the sack. And in the summer, your penis gets the signal, “It’s go time.” You may have noticed this effect yourself. Does your penis seem bigger right now than it was at Christmas? The effects vary from person to person, but generally are not all that noticeable. You won’t have to start buying a bigger size of condom, but your partner may notice that riding your cock feels ever-so-slightly more pleasurable. Naysayers choc summer penis up to being a simple optical illusion caused by things like bloating, sweat, and something akin to “summer penis energy". But this opens up a whole new bag of philosophical questions. If summer penis is illusory, yet can be confirmed by both you and partner, then how can we say that the phenomenon is not real? Ultimately, summer penis is just another thing to look forward to during these months, like vacation, beach days, and tans. If you’re a beleaguered owner of a micropenis, it’s not time to move somewhere tropical in search of a few inches. At the end of the day, summer penis is just one of those little things that make life special, like stopping to smell the flowers.