Well, it’s officially cuffing season again. That time of the year when all of our collective hormones decide that’s time to find a boo… RIGHT now. The veritable “last call” for love for the snows of winter isolate us in our exposed-brick studio apartments binge-watching Netflix. If you haven’t cajoled some sap into being your winter-long cuddle buddy, you may be running out of time!

For those of you already in possession of hibernation pals, then enjoy your holidays you lucky bastards. For those of us who are single, cuffing season can feel like a prison sentence.

So everybody’s already grabbed a partner at the dance and you’re the last one standing, huh? Cuffing season can be brutal for lone wolves. No man to bring home for the holidays? No one to wear matching pajamas with? No one to suck your dick under the mistletoe? I mean sure, there’s hookups, but that’s not what the holiday season is about, is it? Or maybe it is…

If you’ve got the holiday blues, just remember that this all bullshit created by greeting card companies to sell wrapping paper and plastic drones or whatever kids are getting from Christmas these days. And in a similar way, all this pressure to grab a mate is socially-constructed nonsense anyway. You gotta just tune it out, brother. Besides, being confidently single is IN right way. Yeah, I’m in a serious relationship… with myself.

To the single guys this cuffing season, rejoice that your wrists are free and uncuffed. Take stock of the good things in your life and be happy for the things that you do have. Besides, most of these hasty relationships probably won’t last through cuffing season anyway.