The Most Irritating Things That Happen on Dating Apps
Article written by Sam Machado
Ahh, the joy of online dating. Even though meeting guys on dating apps can be fun, most of us can admit they’re pretty annoying. A lot of us have had our hearts broken or have been ghosted by the guys we meet online. Just know that has nothing to do with you or your worth- that’s just how online dating kind of works. It’s a bitch.
Here are the most irritating things that happen on dating apps that will help you realize you’re not alone!
When He Starts With “Hey”
What do you have to work with here? Just “Hey?” The best response back is another “Hey.” Then it goes into “What’s up?” “Not much. You?” “Chillin.’” Yeah, that’s boring as hell. You might feel like you’re losing brain cells by writing such blah comments back and forth. Even a “Hi, how’s it going?” is a “little” better...at least that shows general enthusiasm to get to know someone, but “Hey” equals “dull.”
You and him are connecting on such a great level and have great conversations for several days. Then out of nowhere he stops talking to you. What happened? Weren’t we having a nice chat? Guess not! There’s no way to tell why this happens, but guys like this don’t deserve your attention anymore.
The No-Match Phase
Sometimes, we have off-seasons in online dating. You might make 10 matches a day, then all of a sudden, you’re getting no matches at all. You’ll go weeks swiping right, but no one is swiping right back. Sometimes, it’s just a phase after your profile wares out. Maybe it’s time to switch up the photos. Or, delete the app and start off fresh (for the hundredth time).
You can tell when the convo isn’t going anywhere. You’re chatting to each other about how your day’s going, your jobs, your hobbies, but nothing is really connecting. But his pictures are fucking hot so you pretend to be interested. While it’s good to be open-minded about other peoples’ passions, it’s okay to lay low on guys you just don’t have anything in common with.
It’s the worst when you’re swiping left over and over that your brain forgets what you’re doing. Then you accidentally swipe left on someone who’s really cute and you’re all, “Damnit!” Then you accidentally swipe right on someone who you’re not that into. And if you match, you’re all “Whoops!”
When His Profile Says “No Bullshit Please.”
Seriously, what do these guys expect you to say? “Oh. Well, I WAS going to try to get to know you, but you don’t want bullshit so I guess I’m not a good match for you…” Not sure why anyone would have the audacity to write this in a dating profile. It’s ridiculous and kind of creepy. Avoid these guys at all costs!
Matching With a Long Distance Guy
Every so often you’ll swipe on a guy who’s really hot and has a great profile, but it says he’s 4,632 miles away. Or, you’ll match with another cool-looking guy whose profile says he’s visiting town for the week. Or, he breaks the news in your conversation that he’s moving soon. Timing can really suck.
When he gets really invasive or says weird things in the opening message. He might say he could fall in love with you, then marry and have a family with you...in his opening statement. Or, he’ll send a voice message of himself singing a love song to you after all you two said was “My day’s going great, how’s yours?” Or, he’ll tell you how badly he wants to breed your hole when your profile distinctly said “No hookups.” You’ve known each for only one swipe. Some guys just need to take a step back and chill before diving right in.
He asks what you like to do for fun. So you tell him all about your favorite hobbies. You give him all the details about your passions, favorite songs, movies, places to visit, your pets...You crack some jokes and talk about what you like to cook. You tell him about all the hard work you put in to land your dream career. His response: “Nice.”