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When you end things with someone, you often tell yourself that you will never forget them. That the nights you spent bundled up on the couch together in blissful harmony will always stay with you. You tell yourself that you have learned a great deal about yourself and will never forget the person who helped shape you into who you are becoming. As idealistic as this is, more often than not we are wrong. As much as we are good-intention-ed with our hopes of remembrance, we forget that life happens. Months turn into years and the faces of our exes that was once so deeply burned into our psyche fades away with the seasons. We’re no longer the people we were when we were in love with that person, why would we want to hold onto everything? As cynical as I sound, there is a type of love that you never forget. Even at times where you think you’ve buried those feelings, they will crawl back into bed with you at night. They will haunt you with “what ifs” and “maybes,” and that is how you remember how real it was.
The type of love you never forget stems from a place of confusion: where it all went wrong. Life happens, and people get jobs thousands of miles apart from each other. They’re forced to choose between the career they’ve always wanted and the person who makes them happy in the now. Or, sometimes school, illnesses, family, etc. gets in the way. Sometimes, even, people grow apart because they found each other at the wrong time in life. Whether it be that they weren’t ready for a mature relationship, or that they hadn’t yet discovered enough about themselves to willing give their life to someone else, paths can cross when they’re not ready to.
It is when life pulls you apart from someone for reasons other than a change of heart that their love is forever etched in your brain.
It is hard to let go of something and someone that was almost your everything. When you break up for other reasons, it is easy to separate your feelings from why it would never work between the two of you. But when nothing but life holds your heart back, it can be impossible to escape your feelings. You will forever wonder if you’re remembering the way their hand felt on your cheek, or if you’re slowly forgetting how soft their lips were on yours. It hurts so much because when love ends we accept it to be messy. We expect there to be screaming, crying, and words said that you can never take back. The pain is supposed to help you severe ties. When those ties aren’t properly severed, we stay tethered to that person, hoping they’ll always be waiting on the other side for you.
But there is a light at the end of the tunnel of all this despair and longing. Sometimes it is nice to never forget love. When we end relationships that are tinged with bitterness, we forget the good things. Except, when things end well and you hold onto that love, it reminds you how beautiful your soul is capable of being. You are able to remind yourself that you’re capable of loving and being loved. There is no greater feeling in the world.
Perhaps one day you and the love you never forgot will find your way back to each other. But more likely than not, you’re too smart to wait around forever. Eventually you’ll find other loves, and they will burn brighter and stronger than you ever thought possible. What people seem to forget is that love isn’t a limited well. You have the capacity to hold tenderness for someone in your past, while nurturing your future relationships with even more care. You hold onto this love because you’re holding onto humanity in all its glory: broken, fragile, and confusing. Love that ends for no reason sticks with us because it highlights how right we can be for others even when life drags us apart.So this is the type of love you never forget, because we can’t help but want what we never could have.
This is the type of love never forget because you are never sure why it ended, but you’re sure you’re happy it did.
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