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Article written by Kendra Beltran

A common fear many share is being declared basic as fuck in the bedroom. No one wants to feel they're "average" or worse, be told they aren’t a great fuck. We get these ideas in our heads about what we should do, and oftentimes they’re related to what we have seen in our favorite adult films. Yup, porn is great and all, but the pressure we put ourselves under to perform like the professionals? It’s all too much and really, our partners do not expect Olympic-level performances. They just wanna fuck in a way that’s a step above basic. So stop worrying because these are the things your partner certainly doesn’t expect from you when you’re having sex. Even if porn makes you think they do.

Extreme Dirty Talk

Dirty talk isn’t the worst thing to incorporate into your sex routine but there are times when it can get to an uncomfortable level. Those that know their partners should know where the line is and know not to cross it because really, no one wants that level of dirty talk. You know the kind that verges on berating? Some do but for the most part, keeping it naughty but still nice is just fine.

Great Shower Sex

I will go to my grave talking about shower sex and how porn has made it out to be the ultimate sex experience.... because, really? No. Unless you are ballin’ like a rock star and have a lavish as fuck shower that won’t leave one of you in the cold shivering and the other fine and dandy under the water, it’s not great. It’s far from great. Realize that your partner understands that the tiny shower in your one-bedroom apartment is not the place to fuck. They’ll be okay with that. Now, when you’re on vacation, please - take full advantage of a luxurious shower. Otherwise, stop.

Random Threeways

Pornos like to give us the illusion that every knock on the door is a well-hung stud ready to tear our asses apart in the best way possible. Don’t know about you, but no one hot or ready to fuck is ever on the other side of my door. Okay, so your partner knows that, and honestly, you do too which is why you don’t have to worry about them wanting you to randomly ask for a third party in the bedroom. That is not something you just spring on someone anyways. That is a conversation y’all need to have with clothes on first.

Insane Audibles

If porn stars didn’t go over the top with their moans and groans then we would be watching a silent film. Still hot, but the sounds add a little extra. Meaning we assume that we have to bold without reactions or else it seems like we’re not fully committed. Wrong. You don’t always have to be the Lady Gaga of sex to show you’re having a great time.

Acrobatic Sex

Oh, honey, who told you that you needed to get all Cirque du Soleil? Being limber is one thing but you don’t want to go and hurt yourself trying some stunts you saw on your favorite porn site. Do you know how much it will cost to send your ass to the emergency room? Trust us, your partner wants good sex. They do not want to spend hours in the ER because you thought they wanted some gymnast Barbie type of shit.

No Gloves

We’re not talking about the kind that goes on your hands. Now, if you are in a long term committed relationship and have talked about not using protection anymore because you’re living that monogamous life, okay. If you are still getting to know one another and have a dating profile they don’t know about, then rock the condom. Porn makes it seem like condoms don’t exist but they do and they’re here for your safety hon!

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