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As a gay man grows older, wiser, and gains more sexual experience, there is a temptation for him to identify his erotic niche and nestle in there for the long haul. Many full-grown adults rigidly identify as either a top or a bottom. Everyone has their own sexual preferences and kinks, but it’s important to not get too hung up them.

We talk about many aspects of identity as being fluid, yet we still lock into roles when it comes to being a top or bottom. For most of us, the realest tea is that even top-bottom roles exist on a fluid spectrum. It all depends on the circumstances of the encounter. A guy may go his whole life thinking that he is the top of all tops, but there’s always the possibly that some even daddier daddy comes up from behind and whispers in his ear to bend over. ;)

Virtually no one in the real world is perfectly masculine or perfectly feminine. We all exist in a gray area that fluctuates day-to-day. And for some, these things change with age. A man in his 30s may fantasize about ravaging the ass of a 19 year old and pleasing a veiny silver fox dick--to equal degrees! Always remember that the dominance-submission dynamic of sex is totally dependent on the men involved. So if you’re sure that either only a top or only a bottom, maybe you just need to be more adventurous with your fucking.

So too, many couples who’ve found themselves settled in their sexual habits find that embracing the fluidity of the top-bottom dynamic can help enhance their sex. There’s nothing like flipping the script on deeply ingrained sexual roles to make things suddenly interesting again. Sometimes the hottest thing is tapping into that forbidden OTHER side of yourself.

Some may hear all this as merely a petition to become vers. Granted, many guys will find that they ultimately really are a total top or bottom. Don’t force yourself to have sex that doesn’t feel good--just be open trying out new things when it does feel right. You might enjoy it. ;)

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