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Article written by Maya Vukovska

Tattoos can be not only a fashion statement, but also a way of communication. A tattoo is a sign in itself; it tells a story, and sometimes can be more eloquent than a 500-word resumé.  Once, tattoos were a symbol of belonging, of affiliation to a certain social cast, or a group. They carried all kinds of information: from one’s criminal record to one’s marital status, religious beliefs, etc.  Currently, in the United States, 36% of people have at least one tattoo, and 70 % of those have more than one tattoo. Given that, it’s a pretty big chance that your new crush falls into these 36%, having his fair share of ink work done on his body. Of course, LGBTQ community has its own varied  history with tattoos. It started in the early 1950’s when it was still unpopular to be gay in Western culture, and many homosexuals back then got specific tattoos as an act of rebelliousness to authority. What’s more, through encoded symbols they intended to convey their true identity to those who were able to “read between the lines”.

And now here we are to help you “read” your beau’s tats and see what they unveil about his personality.

Tattoos on the legs only: Hmmm, be aware of the corporate psycho!

He has tats only on his legs, and you question yourself, “Does he play the Ryan Reynold’s card?” Maybe yes, he does, because he’s a fan. But most probably, he’s just one of those guys who want to look like a badass but only during summertime, when in their sexy tank tops, flip flops, and shorts. We’d say your new crush is an embodiment of white privilege. To him, it’s OK to look cool while on a gay cruise trip to Eastern Caribbean, but in the corporate world, he has to be seen as a typical white man. What his leg tats tell about him is that you’re probably dating Christian Bale’s character in American Psycho. Only less brutal… Let’s hope!

Music notes: Is he really a Mozart?

OK, unless his stage drag name is Rihanna or Selena, you can bet he’s a wannabe in the music business. Of course, there’s always a chance your BF is just a music aficionado, the type who weeps every time he listens to the Queen of the Night area. But we doubt this. And if the music notes are tattooed on his ear, you’d better decline his offer when he invites you to listen to his live gig in some pub you’ve never heard of. Or get yourself prepared by having like five drinks before he hits the strings.

Lucky You on the crotch… But is it you who’s the only lucky one?

No matter if his tattoo says Lucky You, or Ride my cab, or shows a rocket, a tattoo on the crotch is always a substitution of a “fuckme” offer. Of course, he’ll try to convince you that it was one of the few faux-pas he’s had in his life, and that he got it “one night in Vegas when I was wasted AF”. Whatever his excuses are, however, the reason he got a tattoo with an inviting inscription in this particular area is that he wants it to be seen by a new guy at any suitable moment. Some gay dudes have Don’t laugh and Thank you for your stay tattooed above the pubes, but these self-ironic messages speak even worse for one’s sexual habits and appetites.

Biohazard Tattoo: Be aware of his health status!

Most people with HIV are not usually eager to share their diagnosis with new or prospective sexual partners. However, some infected gay men choose to uncompromisingly ink their status on their skin. Whether it’s the internationally recognized biohazard sign on the butt cheek,  or a simple, black-and-white drawing of a scorpion on the upper arm, it’s their way of being comfortable with who they are. Of course, if you notice a scorpion tattoo on some part of the body of your new BF, don’t jump to any irrational conclusions. This might be simply his astrological sign.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star

When you ask him why he’s got  so many star tattoos, he’ll most probably say, “This one is for Mom, this one for cousin Lilith, and this pretty one is for Jesus.” Without having seen him, I will presume your new lover is an over-the-top, Jack MacFarland type of gay. And sooner or later, you’ll realize  he’s got a tacky taste not only when it comes to tattoos. In some cases, usually associated with Russian mafia, stars can indicate authority. But let’s hope that’s not your case, and your lover is… just Jack!

Arm band tattoo? He’s your noble warrior

Yes, you definitely can rely on this guy. He is loyal, trustworthy, and always there when you need him. And not only to help a lady in distress! The common meaning of a double arm band tattoo is “I stand for equality”. However, this symbol has another meaning, which your guy may expect you to recognize at hello, i.e. “I enjoy anal fisting”. Well, you’d better be informed in advance.

Tattoo of your name = BAD news

No matter how flattering this may seem at first, someone’s decision to have your name tattooed is not necessarily a sign of his endless love and devotion. The guy is probably the controlling type. What he wants to tell you with this tat is, “I engraved your name on my skin, so now you owe me big.” But even if keeping you on a short leash wasn’t his intention, what could be less creative than having Bobby or Simon on one’s biceps!

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