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Article written by Kendra Beltran

Put a few hot shots up, a witty bio and bing, bang, boom. You’re done with your dating profile and can now wait for the men to come to you. Yeah, it may seem that easy but there is a lot more than meets the eye when it comes to a dating profile and making it say exactly what you want it to say. You may be a loving guy who wants a real relationship but your profile is screaming from the rooftops, “Fuckboy Right Here!” See what we’re talking about? With our help, you’re going to be able to whip that dating profile into shape and have it represent who you really are in no time.

Profile Pics
Let’s be honest, most of us don’t even read anything before we decide to swipe right or left. That is why the profile picture is key. It’s the Beyonce of your profile, the bio is Kelly, and your other info and other pictures? Totally Michelle. If they get to it, great. If not, you’ll live. So let’s breakdown the most common profile pictures and what they’re saying about you.

Selfie
Selfies showcase confidence. I mean, you’d have to be to have a camera all up in your face like that. While they give off a hint of self-assurance, selfies also tell people you may only be a pretty face when that’s all they can see. No hint of the rest of your body, a background even? The confidence may be there on some level, but potential partners need more.

Body Shots
You’re here for one thing and one thing only. The sex. You know it. Next.

Group Picture
Who. Are. You? No one wants to play Sherlock Holmes when it comes to figuring out whose profile they’re looking at. On the plus side photos with your friends does give off the impression that you’re a social guy that enjoys fun. However, a group shot lacks confidence and frankly, smarts. Which is why most people swipe left and don’t even bother with people whose profile pictures are in a group.

With an Ex
Um, this isn’t rocket science. If your profile picture is you with a person who you look even the least bit romantic with (past or present - does not matter), it’s a clear sign that you’re either clingy or not over that person.

With Family
It’s great you love your family, but having your mom in your profile picture is creepy. Sorry, that’s just the case. Having your parents in your profile picture does show you’re close with your family but again, a little too close. If you want mom in the picture, save it for the rest of your photos. Not the headliner.

Best Profile Choice: Nice Full Body
You don’t even have to be rocking a birthday suit or even shirtless. Just a nice photo of your entire self smiling that looks real and not photoshopped a million times over, that’s the kind profile picture that screams, dude who is obviously on here to fuck but is also genuinely nice human being.

Bios
In a world where everything is moving a mile a minute, you have to catch someone’s attention within seconds or they’re swiping by your ass and onto the next. Sorry, that’s just the harsh reality of dating online (and sometimes IRL). So once you’re profile picture has caught their eye, that little caption that shows you’re more than a pretty face. You have some sort of substance, we hope. Let’s take a look at some, shall we?

Three and Done
You’ve seen these ones. Where it’s basically something along the lines of, “Gym Rat. Lover. Ariana Grande Stan.” While that does paint a picture of a romantic dude who is in shape and listens to “Thank U, Next” on repeat, it also sounds like you’re just giving out suggestions for a game of Madlibs. It’s not someone looking to really start a relationship, but rather someone giving talking points so that when you slide into their DMs you can mention one of the three items listed to strike up a shallow conversation that’ll lead to sex.

Popular Lines
We get it, you’ve seen a movie or heard a song once in your life. We hate to be as cliche and unoriginal as those bios but they don’t impress us much country-pop twang.

The Real Slim Shady
It’s a little cheesy to start your bio with, “Hi! My name is Derek…and blah, blah, blah.” Are you 12 and introducing yourself on the first day of middle school? It’s a bit juvenile and we’re here for men, not boys. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Negative Nancy
“I Hate This.” Really? That’s what your profile says to attract people? Crawl right back to Hot Topic in 2003 with your emo behind. No one wants to date a bummer.

Best Bio Choice: Quick & Witty
While we don’t love the three and done, we do like a short and sweet bio that showcases personality and has a bit of wit in it. Think of yourself as a product and the bio as your tagline. You want one that’s going to catch your dream guy’s eye fast. Be charming, original, and most importantly YOU.

Your Other Pictures
Here’s the thing, once you’ve got their attention with your profile picture and captured their interest even more with your bio they’re going to click to investigate further. Which is why the other pictures you have are key.

Family Photos
While they aren’t great as your profile picture, one or two (no more than two) are okay for the rest. It shows that you’re family orientated and a bit sensitive. This will attract guys who also put their family first.

Group Shots
These are okay here because they now know what you look like and can not get a grasp of how social you like to be. If they’re a social person they’ll be like, fuck yeah! If they’re more low key and a homebody, they’ll know right away you’re too much for them and scurry away. Just make sure you really stand out in these group shots there. Don’t be 50 feet in the background.

All Selfies
Okay, it’s a little arrogant to ONLY have pictures of yourself. Even worse if it’s like 15 of the same pose from different angles. Not only arrogant but it lacks personality. Dudes will pass on you for that for sure.

Faceless
Do you even have a face? Yes, your body is great but can we learn a little more about you? Oh, yeah, you’re just here for dick. Gotcha.

Best Photo Album Choice: Mix It Up
A selfie brought them in, but it’s time to show that you’re more. Show off that body, show them you’re social, and if you are - show them that family means a lot to you. Same goes with if you have pets, what hobbies you’re into. They don’t say a picture is worth a thousand words for nothing.

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*** Andrew Christian Inc. does not claim rights to any images posted in this blog post. If you find your picture here and would like to have it credited or removed please email [email protected]

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