In today’s modern world of (somewhat) waning homophobia, more and more gay folks are given the opportunity to live their lives openly as themselves--which, of course, is an immensely wonderful thing. But it’s important to remember that while many of us are out, proud, here and queer, some people prefer to keep their sexual and romantic lives to themselves. You should never “out” anyone.

Everyone is entitled to privacy in their lives. Granted, a lot of people don't need that much privacy. I know lots of guys who will happily post an Insta selfie with their entire body on display and a caption about some childhood trauma they’ve recently conquered. Social media is conducive for this sort of sharing, and for some, that’s great! But lots of other guys, gay and straight alike, prefer to just keep their sexuality between themselves and whomever they’re boning.

This is not to discount the courageous achievements of the original gay civil rights activists. For many, coming out is amazingly heroic thing to do. In this regard, “outing” people can sometimes just be dangerous. In certain places and cultures, outing someone can be akin to putting out a warrant for their arrest.

Most importantly though, “outing” someone just reaffirms that heteronormative view that being gay is something scandalous. It perpetuates the stigma against being homosexual in our culture. Think about it: nobody gets “outed” as being straight. If being gay was equally acceptable as being straight, then outing by definition can no longer be a thing.

At the end of the day, just remember that no one’s sexuality is your business… until they start flirting with you. ;)